Only the punniest Phuks allowed. | Phuks!

21

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

posted by Hitchens

17

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

posted by Hitchens

12

If life gives you melons then you're probably dyslexic.

posted by Hitchens

12

SJWs don't like guns because they have too many triggers.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

11

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

posted by Sarcastaway

11

After years solicitors, a man decides to soundproof his front door with dozens of dildos...

posted by Sarcastaway

10

Puns are cheesy, but they make me feel grate.

posted by Hitchens

10

I don't like splitting hairs. You could say I'm .... anti-semantic. (⌐■_■)

posted by ScorpioGlitch

10

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

posted by Hitchens

10

I thought this post was worth sharing (upload.wikimedia.org)

posted by ScorpioGlitch

10

I wish people would stop asking me where I think I'm going to be in a few years, I don't have 2020 vision.

posted by Hitchens

9

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

posted by Hitchens

9

If you shoot someone in the eye you might not kill them, but you might give them Glock coma.

posted by Hitchens

9

My favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

9

Synonym buns...

posted by ScorpioGlitch

8

I bet the guy who invented those nesting dolls was full of himself.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

8

This post tests CORVID positive. (useruploads.phuks.net)

posted by ScorpioGlitch

8

If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.

posted by Hitchens

8

♪♫♬They call him the streak...♪♫♬ (pics.me.me)

posted by ScorpioGlitch

8

Sarcastaway runs this place and so should be given the title of "Pun-isher"

posted by ScorpioGlitch

7

Atheism is a non-prophet institution. -George Carlin

posted by Sarcastaway

7

I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then.

posted by Hitchens

7

Being a mirror inspect is a job I can really see myself doing.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

7

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get ya.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

7

A boomer nearing retirement (upload.wikimedia.org)

posted by CDanger

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