Only the punniest Phuks allowed. | Phuks!

21

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

17

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

12

If life gives you melons then you're probably dyslexic.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

12

SJWs don't like guns because they have too many triggers.

posted 6 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

11

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

posted 7 years ago by Sarcastaway

11

After years solicitors, a man decides to soundproof his front door with dozens of dildos...

posted 7 years ago by Sarcastaway

10

Puns are cheesy, but they make me feel grate.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

10

I don't like splitting hairs. You could say I'm .... anti-semantic. (⌐■_■)

posted 7 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

10

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

10

I thought this post was worth sharing (upload.wikimedia.org)

posted 6 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

10

I wish people would stop asking me where I think I'm going to be in a few years, I don't have 2020 vision.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

9

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

9

If you shoot someone in the eye you might not kill them, but you might give them Glock coma.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

9

My favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

posted 6 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

9

Synonym buns...

posted 6 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

8

I bet the guy who invented those nesting dolls was full of himself.

posted 7 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

8

This post tests CORVID positive. (useruploads.phuks.net)

posted 4 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

8

If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

8

♪♫♬They call him the streak...♪♫♬ (pics.me.me)

posted 6 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

8

Sarcastaway runs this place and so should be given the title of "Pun-isher"

posted 7 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

7

Atheism is a non-prophet institution. -George Carlin

posted 7 years ago by Sarcastaway

7

I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then.

posted 7 years ago by Hitchens

7

Being a mirror inspect is a job I can really see myself doing.

posted 6 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

7

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get ya.

posted 5 years ago by ScorpioGlitch

7

A boomer nearing retirement (upload.wikimedia.org)

posted 4 years ago by CDanger

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