So sidewalker_Principle noted that we all seem to be an older, fairly successful gang here. What's the one best life lesson you've learned?

[–] keebyjeeby 10 points (+10|-0)

That no matter how much you love someone, you will always get over them and find someone else you love just as much in a different way.

[–] [Deleted] 3 points (+3|-0)

...who hurt you?

[–] keebyjeeby 2 points (+2|-0)

Ah, I was left broken hearted after my first relationship broke up due to her infidelity. I thought I would never recover, but I did, and went on to have some of the most incredible relationships with the most amazing women. None of them were replaceable, but each was wonderful in their own way.

[–] InnocentBystander 1 points (+2|-1)

I disagree.
That's usually true, but not always.

[–] keebyjeeby 3 points (+3|-0)

What I meant to say was that you can always find someone else you love just as much. The only reason not to is you.

[–] InnocentBystander 0 points (+0|-0)

That's what I thought you meant, but I don't see that as true for all.
Specifically I was thinking of a woman I know, who is remarried now, but lost her first husband to an accident. We talked about it one, she did love again, but never to the same degree.

[–] ScorpioGlitch 6 points (+6|-0)

Edited

If you learn to keep your morals and ethics from sliding around to suit the situation, people will come to know you as ethically and morally sound and responsible even if your ethics and morals aren't fine and upstanding. People just want to know if they can count on you.

For example, being punctual is a part of ethics but punctuality doesn't just mean arriving on time. It also means leaving on time. Leave work on time. Leave meetings on time. Leave home on time. As people learn this about you, they know you will be reliable on your time management (and will assume you manage your time well in other ways too).

An important part of those ethics and morals: There are only two motions: love and fear. Fear is really a request for love.
People online give me grief all the time when I step back from an argument. I don't do arguments. I'll do debate because debate is a way to learn or share. But an argument is nothing more than asking for permission to say that you are right (asking for love). I do not ask for permission to say that I am right. I am right or I am wrong. And so are you. Want to change my mind? Debate me and present evidence, not arguments.
People treat others the same way they treat themselves. Don't be angry, they're just continuing their conversation of self to others because they know no other way. So love yourself resolutely.
Sometimes life, even a loving or kind one, requires all the ugly things you don't associate with that in order to stop others from abusive behavior to yourself or others. To do otherwise is self abuse and not loving yourself.
Life, your life, is all about you. Of course it's selfish but you have to live with yourself at the end of the day.

[–] PhuksNewfag 0 points (+0|-0)

I am right or I am wrong. And so are you. Want to change my mind? Debate me and present evidence, not arguments.

What about abstract things and things were evidence cannot be reasonably provided for?

For example ironically this very topic might fall in this category and so how do you know that your assumptions about the motivations and intentions of other people are right?

[–] ScorpioGlitch 0 points (+0|-0)

If you're discussing, that's fine. If you're arguing about something abstract or subjective (as opposed to debating),, then you might have a bit of a personal problem, getting all heated over something which you cannot ask for permission to be right about.

As far as other people, I prefer not to make assumptions but if someone tells me something about what they're like or what they'll do, I'll take them at their word. If they say they'll do something less than reasonable, I will 100% take them at their word and treat them as someone untrustworthy. If they say they'll do something reasonable and they do not, then they are a liar and not worth of consideration in the future. I mean, it's not too difficult.

[–] [Deleted] 4 points (+4|-0)

What most people consider "emergencies", are usually very minor issues.

[–] Justintoxicated 3 points (+3|-0)

Don't trust/follow your emotions blindly, they are generally wrong and cause you to fuck up good things. Stop and think.

[–] [Deleted] 3 points (+3|-0)

Mine: I don't have to, nor want to, put up with other people's shit. Your problems aren't mine. Your emergency is not even remotely my problem.

That's what OP said. A lot of people believe that, so...

My life life lesson is to not whine, complain, bitch or moan or air my complaints to anybody except the few people who care and reciprocate. Even then, keep it to a minimum. Tell it to your dog.

[–] [Deleted] 3 points (+3|-0)

Never EVER... put your dick in Crazy.

[–] InnocentBystander 2 points (+2|-0)

You're missing out. Crazy is a good lay.
The fall-out can be brutal, but hey, great sex.

[–] Mastercat 1 points (+1|-0)

Never stick your dick in crazy without using a false name and address.

[–] DKeere 3 points (+3|-0)

Expression of emotions is healthy and beneficial in a measured and reasonable manner. Basically, don't be a robot, but keep your emotions in check.

Love or passion can go a long way to motivate someone, but don't let it consume you. The same with anger or fear. I think it is very important to examine why you have a certain feeling and determine the rationality of its effect on you as you make decisions.

I get angry frequently, but rarely act out of anger. I sit myself down somewhere, usually pulling weeds, and have an internal dialog about what the root cause of my anger is. Once I've found it, I go to work on the cause, rather than my emotional reaction to it. Some things I work out pretty quickly, others I've been going back and examining for years.

[–] InnocentBystander 2 points (+3|-1)

1 - Live for today, not tomorrow. I don't mean any of that yolo crap.
What I mean is make your time count starting from now, not some point you've got planned in the future. That point will probably never come. And that may not be a bad thing. Life has a way of taking unexpected turns. Some bad, some good.

2 - learn to be content with reasonable comfort.
Ambition is a vice, not a virtue.

3 - Nothing is black or white. Everything is a shade of grey. Absolutes exist only in abstract.

[–] chmod [OP] 4 points (+4|-0)

I disagree with your number 2 and 3. Ambition is healthy and almost everything is black and white.

[–] InnocentBystander 5 points (+5|-0)

In my experience there has been an inverse relation between ambition, and happiness.
Success doesn't even seem to matter much. Highly ambitious people can (by definition) never be happy with what they've got.
The desire for 'more' once your needs are met has never resulted in a benefit, that I've seen.

almost everything is black and white.

I don't even know what to make of that statement. I'm having a hard time believing you mean that in the way it seems.
Are you saying you think everything is a simple right or wrong, and it is clear which is which?
Because that's crazy-talk, and you don't seem crazy. So what do you mean?

[–] [Deleted] 0 points (+0|-0)

Some things are black or white.

[–] InnocentBystander 0 points (+0|-0)

Like?
Come on, that wasn't even half a comment. You started a thought, and then the comment just ended.

Don't be a tease.

[–] E-werd 1 points (+1|-0)

Well, black and white are black and white. Binary is black and white. I think that sort of thinking is where he was going with this.

[–] ninjajunkie 2 points (+2|-0)

What I consider to be my greatest (and likely, only) epiphany: You know that lighted window you see off in the distance while driving a highway at night? That's all you are to most everyone else.

[–] [Deleted] 1 points (+1|-0)

Its really funny to me whenever someone thinks im old.

Thanks, @sidewalker_principle !

My best life lesson; 'Dont let a bad 5 minutes ruin a full 24 hours.'

My best friend taught me that lesson before she passed away.

[–] sidewalker_Principle 1 points (+1|-0)

Sorry to hear of your friend passing. That's never a happy moment. I guess it could be a happy thing to die if that person was in dire pain with no way out. But still, to lose somebody is terrible.

I like that saying. I'll use it, and when I do I'll credit both you and her.

[–] [Deleted] 1 points (+1|-0)

She passed in a fiery car crash on thanksgiving. It was everywhere on the news.

Ive considered getting a tattoo of it, but Id rather not have a visual reminder of her.

Trust me, its helped me solve so many arguments with my peers and helped me get over issues aLOT faster.

If it doesnt work, have an ice cream cone.

[–] ThinWhiteDuke 1 points (+1|-0)

There's always another woman. If they aren't enthusiastic about you, to hell with them. Move on. Never chase.

So sidewalker_Principle noted that we all seem to be an older, fairly successful gang here. What's the one best life lesson you've learned?

35 comments

/s/AskPhuks