According to modern economic reckoning, I'm upper class. Traditionally (say what you'd expect anywhere between the 70s and 90s, maybe even up through 2005ish), I'd be middle class. Tough to wrap my mind around that still but whatever. The point is that I'm very well off financially and am in a brilliant position to nearly double my income in the next 6 months.
And I can't tell you how tough it is to find someone to date who isn't all about that income.
And it's not like I say anything about it. It's all those little stupid things people are on the lookout for when dating... like not looking at the total at a grocery store or not sighing when the restaurant bill comes due. Most of my clothes are business casual for work so those are in snappy nice condition because they have to be and even my slop clothes are, by habit, down-grades from business casual. I have almost no clothes that others would call "slop clothes." Everything I have I take good care of so there's no conversations about "My <blah> is in bad condition" or "I need <blah> at some point in my life." Those types of conversations are just completely missing on my end. Or even getting her flowers just because. My roof doesn't leak (though my basement does but in my area, that's extremely common) and I have no horror stories about what's materially wrong in my life... just a few projects to improve the house and property that I've been working on.
When it comes down to it, I want for nothing and have about everything I need. I don't oggle at a store window or drool over things in stores because I either already have it or know where to get it dirt cheap or have recognized that I don't want or need it.
I work in a corporate headquarters office so I need to maintain a business and clean appearance all the time despite being in a field where I could technically get away with looking like a slob if I really wanted to.
If I get asked to share stories about things I've done... well... I've done a lot. Been to a lot of places. I have no end of stories there.
I own my house, I have solar, I have a muscle car for every day driving and a very distinct truck for fun driving (and hauling but whatever). The house has been described to me by others as a "prestige house." It's very nice, very large, and each room is just small enough to be cozy without feeling cramped in any way. It also happens to be the second most expensive house in the entire neighborhood and I've recently had an extensive security system installed.
I am, quite literally, one of the most eligible bachelors in the city I live in.
I can't stand lying about who I am and what I've got to deal with...
So what do?
Is there a dating site for people in my situation? The lower reaches of upper class looking for someone who's not a gold digger or after my property? Or should I just consider online dating and never mention what I do for a living (dead giveaway that I have money) or how much I make?
For various reasons, I went out of my way to avoid any meaningful relationship or even date for several years. None of the people I met were ever someone I'd consider spending my life with or even becoming mildly serious about. I actively pushed away and discouraged people from trying to be friendly with me beyond what civil politeness called for.
Eventually I did meet the right man for me. But I didn't know it and continued keeping him at arms length and never encouraged him in the least. We were often together, though, as I helped him recovery from a medical issue and later spent time with him socially. But I was very determined to stay single and independent. Eventually, he just took charge and told me I was his. His timing was impeccable. He is a past master at reading people and knowing their minds better than they do. A week later we were engaged. I met him in October and we were married the following March.
While this isn't quite the same as your situation, not actively looking might be the best way to find someone. You need to hang out where people you'd like to be with gather and avoid singles bars unless that's how you picture your social life afterwards. Just go out and be yourself and have fun. Go skating, take sailing lessons, there are plenty of places to meet people who are more interested in your than you bank account. When that person comes along, I think you'll realize it.
I do understand your apprehension about someone latching on to you because you're affluent. Were anything to happen to my husband, I would find myself in similar circumstances: Unsure about who is being honest and who is being smarmy.