According to modern economic reckoning, I'm upper class. Traditionally (say what you'd expect anywhere between the 70s and 90s, maybe even up through 2005ish), I'd be middle class. Tough to wrap my mind around that still but whatever. The point is that I'm very well off financially and am in a brilliant position to nearly double my income in the next 6 months.
And I can't tell you how tough it is to find someone to date who isn't all about that income.
And it's not like I say anything about it. It's all those little stupid things people are on the lookout for when dating... like not looking at the total at a grocery store or not sighing when the restaurant bill comes due. Most of my clothes are business casual for work so those are in snappy nice condition because they have to be and even my slop clothes are, by habit, down-grades from business casual. I have almost no clothes that others would call "slop clothes." Everything I have I take good care of so there's no conversations about "My <blah> is in bad condition" or "I need <blah> at some point in my life." Those types of conversations are just completely missing on my end. Or even getting her flowers just because. My roof doesn't leak (though my basement does but in my area, that's extremely common) and I have no horror stories about what's materially wrong in my life... just a few projects to improve the house and property that I've been working on.
When it comes down to it, I want for nothing and have about everything I need. I don't oggle at a store window or drool over things in stores because I either already have it or know where to get it dirt cheap or have recognized that I don't want or need it.
I work in a corporate headquarters office so I need to maintain a business and clean appearance all the time despite being in a field where I could technically get away with looking like a slob if I really wanted to.
If I get asked to share stories about things I've done... well... I've done a lot. Been to a lot of places. I have no end of stories there.
I own my house, I have solar, I have a muscle car for every day driving and a very distinct truck for fun driving (and hauling but whatever). The house has been described to me by others as a "prestige house." It's very nice, very large, and each room is just small enough to be cozy without feeling cramped in any way. It also happens to be the second most expensive house in the entire neighborhood and I've recently had an extensive security system installed.
I am, quite literally, one of the most eligible bachelors in the city I live in.
I can't stand lying about who I am and what I've got to deal with...
So what do?
Is there a dating site for people in my situation? The lower reaches of upper class looking for someone who's not a gold digger or after my property? Or should I just consider online dating and never mention what I do for a living (dead giveaway that I have money) or how much I make?
The only way is to get out there. Sure, you have enough to dress very well and have nice cars and things. Try jeans/shorts and a nice shirt. I don't know how you feel about jewelry (I go with my wedding band and whatever collar my husband decides on), but don't wear a lot. If you don't look like you're dripping money it will be better for you in the long run.
You could date someone for a long time and never see their home or have them to your home. Finding out if someone is truly honestly interested in you for your own qualities or for what you have or could give them takes time.
The key, I think, is having long acquaintance and letting that progress naturally. A person would need to be a true con artist to consistently keep up a facade of caring for you instead of your money.
I know all to well about being broke. I was in the last three weeks of the fall time as a junior when my money ran out. I had rent for one more month and enough ramen for two weeks. I caught a break and found a better job and managed to keep going with some forbearance by the registrar.