@IsThisUsernameTaken has already been viciously attacked by one, who knows when another will strike?
It was not ten minutes ago that I walked by my own seemingly innocent couch. I wonder what murderous thoughts were running through the fiber of its being? I wonder how many moments I have been inches away from my own cushioned death?
Folks this is serious, and I think we need to open a dialogue about removing these ill-conceived inventions out of our home and countries.
The time is now!
I bet you eat cauliflower on your couches, don't you?
Of course, who wouldn't. Only proponents of that foul weed, broccoli, could even ask such a question.
Anyway, we do need common sense couch regulation for the children!
Oh so you fall into the complacency camp I take it? You and yours are those of inaction! You seriously think these bigoted, cis-cushioned assault-style seating tools will listen to regulation?!
I pray for your family, and the couches they sit upon. Some head of household you must be, to allow their fine derrieres to abandon all hope of comfy sitting!
I am currently being held captive by my couch.
I sat down, hit my bong a couple times, then the couch latched on to me and has been holding me down since.
It won't let me up. I guess I'll just have to pass the time in captivity with my bong.
Good god man you've got to resist! Don't just lay down and take it like a dog! Have some moxie for crying out loud!
At least you have the bong to pass what miserable little time left you have. The last person I knew who had couch-lock was stuck for several hours. It was nice memeing with you.
ALLINJURIESMATTER