@IsThisUsernameTaken has already been viciously attacked by one, who knows when another will strike?
It was not ten minutes ago that I walked by my own seemingly innocent couch. I wonder what murderous thoughts were running through the fiber of its being? I wonder how many moments I have been inches away from my own cushioned death?
Folks this is serious, and I think we need to open a dialogue about removing these ill-conceived inventions out of our home and countries.
The time is now!
I am currently being held captive by my couch.
I sat down, hit my bong a couple times, then the couch latched on to me and has been holding me down since.
It won't let me up. I guess I'll just have to pass the time in captivity with my bong.