Jokes | Phuks!

9

I find it patronizing that a computer asks me to prove I'm not a robot.

posted by jobes

11

I once met a guy who was convinced that there were no words in the English language with more syllables than vowels....

posted by jobes

12

My girlfriend said she wanted some peace and quiet while she cooked...

posted by jobes

13

If I had a nickel for every racist thing I said, some black guy would rob me.

posted by jobes

10

A recent study has shown that each cigarette you smoke takes 7 minutes off of your student loan debt.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

16

Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?

posted by jobes

13

I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.

posted by jobes

7

Friends are like trees. They fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

posted by jobes

16

A husband buys a dozen panties of the same color for his wife...

posted by jobes

9

Broccoli broccoli broccoli BROCCOLI BROCCOLI!!!

posted by [Deleted]

8

I got so drunk the other night I blew chunks.

posted by F6F_Hellcat

6

What do panties and nail polish have in common? They both come off with Alcohol

posted by jobes

12

What‘s a ban on watching TV called in Russia?

posted by jobes

9

What did one roll of film say to the other?

posted by ScorpioGlitch

5

I don't get it. Every time I ask a German girl for her phone number, they give me a fake. Not just any fake, but always the same one! 999-9999.

posted by jobes

5

My wife kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions...

posted by jobes

10

A man was washing his car with his son. The son asked, "Dad, could you maybe use a sponge instead?"

posted by jobes

6

Why do you never ask gay people questions?

posted by jobes

13

I once told a woman that she drew her eyebrows on too high.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

13

Timmy goes fishing

posted by PhunkyPlatypus

5

I told my girlfriend my mom is hard of hearing. I told my mom my girlfriend is retarded.

posted by jobes

8

Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand

posted by CDanger

18

Did you hear Monica Lewinsky is becoming a Republican? The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

posted by jobes

12

A mime broke into my house last night while I was asleep.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

8

My psychiatrist said that I was a kleptomaniac and I asked if there was something I could take for it.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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