Jokes | Phuks!

3

I had to give up my career as a photographer because...

posted by madazzahatter

2

When I asked the librarian for a book on “Finding Bigfoot” she then directed me to...

posted by madazzahatter

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When I was a kid, bedtime was 9 pm and I couldn’t wait to be a grownup so I could go to bed anytime I wanted which turns out is....

posted by madazzahatter

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A friend of mine was in a great U2 tribute band but then...

posted by madazzahatter

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As I was parking in the lot at the hospital, an attendant came up and said, “This is for badge holders only!" I replied...

posted by madazzahatter

3

I walked by a rehab center and the sign on the lawn said...

posted by madazzahatter

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I cook by making up a recipe and adding a German white wine...

posted by madazzahatter

3

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did...

posted by madazzahatter

3

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look o

posted by madazzahatter

2

“Son, I found a condom in your room.”

posted by madazzahatter

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A bad workman blames his fools...

posted by madazzahatter

2

We'll We'll We'll...

posted by madazzahatter

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We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the…

posted by madazzahatter

3

I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

posted by madazzahatter

3

In a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket...

posted by madazzahatter

3

Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other…

posted by madazzahatter

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This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"

posted by madazzahatter

1

My first time buying condoms, at age 16, I went to the pharmacy. The hot cashier at the counter could see that I was new at it and gave me the pack asking if I knew how to use one. I said, "No, it's my first time."

posted by madazzahatter

2

I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked…

posted by madazzahatter

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My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...

posted by madazzahatter

3

My wife is turning 32 soon...

posted by madazzahatter

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“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...

posted by madazzahatter

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I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

posted by madazzahatter

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A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman…

posted by madazzahatter

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Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says...

posted by madazzahatter

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