Jokes | Phuks!

5

I have an uncle that lives across the street...

posted by jobes

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3

What's the difference between E.T. and an immigrant?

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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9

I find it patronizing that a computer asks me to prove I'm not a robot.

posted by jobes

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11

I once met a guy who was convinced that there were no words in the English language with more syllables than vowels....

posted by jobes

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12

My girlfriend said she wanted some peace and quiet while she cooked...

posted by jobes

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13

If I had a nickel for every racist thing I said, some black guy would rob me.

posted by jobes

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10

A recent study has shown that each cigarette you smoke takes 7 minutes off of your student loan debt.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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16

Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?

posted by jobes

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13

I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.

posted by jobes

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16

A husband buys a dozen panties of the same color for his wife...

posted by jobes

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7

Friends are like trees. They fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

posted by jobes

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9

Broccoli broccoli broccoli BROCCOLI BROCCOLI!!!

posted by unruly

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8

I got so drunk the other night I blew chunks.

posted by F6F_Hellcat

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12

What‘s a ban on watching TV called in Russia?

posted by jobes

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6

What do panties and nail polish have in common? They both come off with Alcohol

posted by jobes

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9

What did one roll of film say to the other?

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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10

A man was washing his car with his son. The son asked, "Dad, could you maybe use a sponge instead?"

posted by jobes

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5

I don't get it. Every time I ask a German girl for her phone number, they give me a fake. Not just any fake, but always the same one! 999-9999.

posted by jobes

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5

My wife kicked me out of the house because of my bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions...

posted by jobes

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6

Why do you never ask gay people questions?

posted by jobes

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13

I once told a woman that she drew her eyebrows on too high.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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13

Timmy goes fishing

posted by PhunkyPlatypus

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5

I told my girlfriend my mom is hard of hearing. I told my mom my girlfriend is retarded.

posted by jobes

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8

Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand

posted by CDanger

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18

Did you hear Monica Lewinsky is becoming a Republican? The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

posted by jobes

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