Jokes | Phuks!

11

I once told a woman that she drew her eyebrows on too high.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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13

Timmy goes fishing

posted by PhunkyPlatypus

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5

I told my girlfriend my mom is hard of hearing. I told my mom my girlfriend is retarded.

posted by jobes

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8

Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand

posted by CDanger

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18

Did you hear Monica Lewinsky is becoming a Republican? The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

posted by jobes

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12

A mime broke into my house last night while I was asleep.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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8

My psychiatrist said that I was a kleptomaniac and I asked if there was something I could take for it.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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13

"Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

posted by E-werd

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8

Why was the two year old son of an anti vaxxer crying?

posted by PhunkyPlatypus

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11

How can you tell if someone is gay?

posted by ohphukimintrouble

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10

I tore my bicep so I went to a professional state run massage facility and they put a finger in my butt.

posted by Justintoxicated

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5

An effective pickup line

posted by jobes

comments (1) report

10

The problem with Yang's Gang is it's like Yang's Wang: tiny and ineffective

posted by CDanger

comments (7) report

13

Dying and coming back as a redneck is called "reintarnation."

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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11

A Cowboy told his grandson the secret to long life.

posted by GoatsShadow

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9

She had a tattoo of the devil on one knee and a tattoo of fire on the other.

posted by GuyIDisagreeWith

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12

What does the sign on an out of business brothel say?

posted by PhunkyPlatypus

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11

A woman tried to stab her husband's penis but missed and stabbed his thigh. She was later charged with a mis-da-weiner

posted by jobes

comments (7) report

12

A three legged, orphaned dog limps into a bar

posted by PhunkyPlatypus

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13

Can't marry him

posted by TeraMarie

comments (6) report

8

I bet the guy who invented those Russian stacking dolls was really full of himself.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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7

When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club...

posted by jobes

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12

If you think your job is worthless, always remember that there's some poor fool who puts turns signals on BMWs.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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8

I don't like orchestras because there's too much sax and violins.

posted by ScorpioGlitch

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4

After a long day watching the kids I'm so tired I could eat a horse

posted by GoatsShadow

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