You can be the life of the party AND be classy! | Phuks!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: I now have a Patreon page!

posted by LockeProposal - sticky

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Caution: Don’t wear long scarves when flying in propeller-driven planes. It might make you unintentionally famous!

posted by LockeProposal

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The new Queen of England travels south from Scotland, happily throws tons of parties and steals everyone’s things along the way.

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The Bemba curse is real!

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English doctor in Central Africa solves a silly problem.

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Theban military commander, himself a secret conspirator, keeps getting handed messages about how there is a conspiracy afoot, and has to keep pretending to deal with it!

posted by LockeProposal

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When Holland sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're bringing crime. They're bringing - BUTTER!

posted by Skyrock

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Fritz and Tommy play a match of football during the Christmas Truce of 1914; the Germans win the game and laugh at Scottish bums.

posted by LockeProposal

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FDR asks the Chinese First Lady for advice, won't make that mistake again!

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The cities of Lugdunum and Vienna switch their allegiances to keep fighting each other!

posted by LockeProposal

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Before the Battle of Cannae, Hannibal makes a joke so funny that his entire retinue can’t stop laughing. Hannibal’s army assumes that they’re laughing at the Roman army, making for an accidental morale boost.

posted by LockeProposal

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Roman Cardinal ends up in a painting of Napoleon’s coronation, later asks the painter to paint him some hair.

posted by LockeProposal

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Diplomatic efforts between France and England fail despite the two queens awkwardly kissing and despite the French king awkwardly offering to help dress Henry VIII.

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FDR’s dog blew his cover!

posted by LockeProposal

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Henry Morgenthau, Jr. proposes a way to teach the next generation of Germans about the spirit of democracy, literally does not think his plan through at all before speaking it aloud.

posted by LockeProposal

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Napoleon’s snappy guilt-trip comeback.

posted by LockeProposal

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Aristedes hatches a plan to expose the hypocrisy of corrupt politicians while running for public office.

posted by LockeProposal

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William Byrd II is back with more sex-capades. That boy needs Jesus.

posted by LockeProposal

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Archimedes really, REALLY liked science.

posted by LockeProposal

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John Adams has a playful fight with his wife about women’s rights in the new republic!

posted by LockeProposal

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During the American Civil War, Sherman retreated from engaging the Confederate defenses at Snyder’s Bluff to the tune of Dixie, to which the snarky Confederates replied with a song of their own!

posted by LockeProposal

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You just could not trip up Katharine Hepburn.

posted by LockeProposal

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James VI threatens to moon his subjects!

posted by LockeProposal

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Philip IV of Spain, er… rises to the challenge.

posted by LockeProposal

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Venetian traders get robbed by privateers while trying to capture the privateers who just robbed them.

posted by LockeProposal

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See this one easy trick the Byzantine emperor Manuel Comnenus used to get Louis VII to leave his city. French crusaders HATE this!

posted by LockeProposal

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