You can be the life of the party AND be classy! | Phuks!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: I now have a Patreon page!

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Confirmed: This woman does not know what that word means. Or that one.

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SHOTS FIRED.

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Not a good time for a lecture, Napoleon!

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Roman soldier does something greedy and cruel after the Battle of Marathon, gets slammed with a suitable nickname for all time afterwards.

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Anti-Semitic radio priest is publicly humiliated as a hypocrite.

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The ancient Egyptians mummified A LOT of cats.

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Nice save!

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Spanish musketeers prepare an ambush for Captain Morgan. The had a great opportunity, but Morgan’s fame preceded him, and they chickened out and instead watched the pirates take naps and relax.

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Napoleon’s guide through the Alps tries to trick Napoleon when collecting his reward, doesn’t get away with it.

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Forced to make a “confession” to his Khmer Roughe captors, an imprisoned sailor has a little fun with the names of his “co-conspirators.”

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About time!

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Early on in the Civil War, wealthy Confederate soldiers were eating rations like you wouldn’t believe!

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My word. *fans self*

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Napoleon could be adorable when reading his battle maps. And accurate.

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An English pirate burns down a Spanish fortification by pulling an arrow from his chest, shooting it out of his musket – which ignited it – and starting a fire. Metal AF.

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Sparta doesn’t need your fancy-shmancy walls.

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Fake news ruins a fashion item for the First Lady forever.

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Richard the Lionheart gets annoyed with Cyprus, quickly conquers the entire island, technically keeps his word to not put its ruler ‘in irons.’

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That went from depressing to adorable REAL quick.

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The wonderful world of Confederate tent-signs.

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William Marshal could get away with trash-talking the King of England, simply because he’s WILLIAM MARSHAL.

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A Spartan returns from battle a hero, panties literally drop, and citizens follow him through the streets encouraging him to immediately start making babies.

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Alfred Hitchcock’s accidentally top-secret McGuffin.

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Aristedes hatches a plan to expose the hypocrisy of corrupt politicians while running for public office.

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Henry Morgenthau, Jr. proposes a way to teach the next generation of Germans about the spirit of democracy, literally does not think his plan through at all before speaking it aloud.

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