You can be the life of the party AND be classy! | Phuks!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: I now have a Patreon page!

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A Spanish governor agrees to surrender to Captain Morgan, but asks that Morgan fight a pretend battle with him so that it would look like he didn’t go quietly. Morgan is delighted, and they fight the fiercest pretend battle ever not actually fought.

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Diplomatic efforts between France and England fail despite the two queens awkwardly kissing and despite the French king awkwardly offering to help dress Henry VIII.

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In 1956 an F11F-1 Tiger became famous as being the first documented incident of a jet plane that shot itself down (datagenetics.com)

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“You, uh… You’ll do fine. Good luck, buddy.”

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Mrs. Churchill makes fun of Henry Morgenthau, Jr., the U.S. Secretary of Treasury, with her best weapon: dry, British humor.

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FDR preferred simple, direct language.

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That’s, uh… quite the typo.

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FDR and Henry Morgenthau, his Secretary of Treasury, enjoyed passing silly notes to each other during cabinet meetings!

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The French and English meet for peace talks, despite false rumors that the other side is secretly attacking them elsewhere.

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The future King John of England is sent to Ireland, pisses everyone off by pulling on their beards.

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Manuel Rivero Pardal, a famous Spanish privateer, happened across an enemy ship that had fewer guns and fewer men; he was so excited to engage them, but his crew had left a lot to be desired.

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Destination: My Buddies.

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That’s a bold strategy, Cotton! Let’s see if it pays off for him.

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Mrs. Adams accidentally asks for a shave, briefly horrifies a London barber with a vivid imagination.

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Napoleon finds a clever way to discover that he’s being ripped off while decorating his home.

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Don’t pay any attention to your supportive friend, Senator.

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Groucho Marx runs into Greta Garbo, backs out of the situation as only Groucho Marx could.

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Wife of a Confederate soldier stationed near Fort Sumter elects to bring him a change of clothes and some basic necessities, ends up staying a few extra days for ‘connubial dalliance.’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Translation: Yeahhh, no thanks.

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Bros before… everyone else.

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Captain Morgan issues a recruitment call for more pirates, later complains that he has too many pirates.

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The men of Easy company go on their first leave back to England, proceed to party London into the ground.

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Thaddeus Stevens gets clever with a Pennsylvania judge.

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W. C. Fields didn’t take any chances!

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J. Edgar Hoover once got into a car accident making a left turn, vowed never to turn left again!

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