According to modern economic reckoning, I'm upper class. Traditionally (say what you'd expect anywhere between the 70s and 90s, maybe even up through 2005ish), I'd be middle class. Tough to wrap my mind around that still but whatever. The point is that I'm very well off financially and am in a brilliant position to nearly double my income in the next 6 months.
And I can't tell you how tough it is to find someone to date who isn't all about that income.
And it's not like I say anything about it. It's all those little stupid things people are on the lookout for when dating... like not looking at the total at a grocery store or not sighing when the restaurant bill comes due. Most of my clothes are business casual for work so those are in snappy nice condition because they have to be and even my slop clothes are, by habit, down-grades from business casual. I have almost no clothes that others would call "slop clothes." Everything I have I take good care of so there's no conversations about "My <blah> is in bad condition" or "I need <blah> at some point in my life." Those types of conversations are just completely missing on my end. Or even getting her flowers just because. My roof doesn't leak (though my basement does but in my area, that's extremely common) and I have no horror stories about what's materially wrong in my life... just a few projects to improve the house and property that I've been working on.
When it comes down to it, I want for nothing and have about everything I need. I don't oggle at a store window or drool over things in stores because I either already have it or know where to get it dirt cheap or have recognized that I don't want or need it.
I work in a corporate headquarters office so I need to maintain a business and clean appearance all the time despite being in a field where I could technically get away with looking like a slob if I really wanted to.
If I get asked to share stories about things I've done... well... I've done a lot. Been to a lot of places. I have no end of stories there.
I own my house, I have solar, I have a muscle car for every day driving and a very distinct truck for fun driving (and hauling but whatever). The house has been described to me by others as a "prestige house." It's very nice, very large, and each room is just small enough to be cozy without feeling cramped in any way. It also happens to be the second most expensive house in the entire neighborhood and I've recently had an extensive security system installed.
I am, quite literally, one of the most eligible bachelors in the city I live in.
I can't stand lying about who I am and what I've got to deal with...
So what do?
Is there a dating site for people in my situation? The lower reaches of upper class looking for someone who's not a gold digger or after my property? Or should I just consider online dating and never mention what I do for a living (dead giveaway that I have money) or how much I make?
Hi fellow doing-okay person here with all of the same trappings of (wannabe) wealth as you. My household income is right around $200 and I live in an extremely affordable state which puts my income in a very high percentile. My wife was furious with me the other day when she found out that I had no idea what the price of gas is. I work a cushy office job and have a beautiful antique house in a beautiful area (with a leaking basement!). So I can relate.
You're probably not finding love because you have defects in your personality that you aren't seeing. It sounds like a combination of an inability to value the things that matter most in life and an inability to love yourself. People who are naturally at ease with themselves and their place in life find potential partners coming out of the woodwork. It's magnetism. You bought a "prestige house", what did you choose to fill the rooms with? Did you buy the house as a trophy or out of some desire to tick boxes, or did you have an intent with how you would fill it with loved ones and memories? Your house comments remind me of "nice guys"; they don't treat women nicely to be nice, they do it in a transactional manner. "If I do this then the things I want will happen to me".
"I've got a great job, car, house, why aren't I getting the things life promised me?"
Because it's the person that you've worked to cultivate that matters the most.
Some day you'll be in the ground and none of that shit is going to matter. What matters are the people, and the relationships you build along the way.
Now why are you failing to do that? That gets to my second point, an inability to love yourself. More importantly, you need to be a whole and complete person before you can involve your life with someone else. This means you need to have a development plan for your life that is centered around the values that matter. Getting into a rut working long days at the office and blowing off steam by buying expensive toys is fun but it doesn't cultivate a personality that attracts good partners. This is hard. It's a chicken-and-egg problem. It's best solved by finding things to do with your life that genuinely make you happy to be alive. Get out of your comfort zone and try different shit and do it with a smile on your face and you will be amazed at how your life will transform.