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I wish I'd have found a wife/girlfriend before becoming professionally successful...

posted by ScorpioGlitch on Whatever

According to modern economic reckoning, I'm upper class. Traditionally (say what you'd expect anywhere between the 70s and 90s, maybe even up through 2005ish), I'd be middle class. Tough to wrap my mind around that still but whatever. The point is that I'm very well off financially and am in a brilliant position to nearly double my income in the next 6 months.

And I can't tell you how tough it is to find someone to date who isn't all about that income.

And it's not like I say anything about it. It's all those little stupid things people are on the lookout for when dating... like not looking at the total at a grocery store or not sighing when the restaurant bill comes due. Most of my clothes are business casual for work so those are in snappy nice condition because they have to be and even my slop clothes are, by habit, down-grades from business casual. I have almost no clothes that others would call "slop clothes." Everything I have I take good care of so there's no conversations about "My <blah> is in bad condition" or "I need <blah> at some point in my life." Those types of conversations are just completely missing on my end. Or even getting her flowers just because. My roof doesn't leak (though my basement does but in my area, that's extremely common) and I have no horror stories about what's materially wrong in my life... just a few projects to improve the house and property that I've been working on.

When it comes down to it, I want for nothing and have about everything I need. I don't oggle at a store window or drool over things in stores because I either already have it or know where to get it dirt cheap or have recognized that I don't want or need it.

I work in a corporate headquarters office so I need to maintain a business and clean appearance all the time despite being in a field where I could technically get away with looking like a slob if I really wanted to.

If I get asked to share stories about things I've done... well... I've done a lot. Been to a lot of places. I have no end of stories there.

I own my house, I have solar, I have a muscle car for every day driving and a very distinct truck for fun driving (and hauling but whatever). The house has been described to me by others as a "prestige house." It's very nice, very large, and each room is just small enough to be cozy without feeling cramped in any way. It also happens to be the second most expensive house in the entire neighborhood and I've recently had an extensive security system installed.

I am, quite literally, one of the most eligible bachelors in the city I live in.

I can't stand lying about who I am and what I've got to deal with...

So what do?

Is there a dating site for people in my situation? The lower reaches of upper class looking for someone who's not a gold digger or after my property? Or should I just consider online dating and never mention what I do for a living (dead giveaway that I have money) or how much I make?

According to modern economic reckoning, I'm upper class. Traditionally (say what you'd expect anywhere between the 70s and 90s, maybe even up through 2005ish), I'd be middle class. Tough to wrap my mind around that still but whatever. The point is that I'm very well off financially and am in a brilliant position to nearly double my income in the next 6 months. And I can't tell you how tough it is to find someone to date who isn't all about that income. And it's not like I say anything about it. It's all those little stupid things people are on the lookout for when dating... like not looking at the total at a grocery store or not sighing when the restaurant bill comes due. Most of my clothes are business casual for work so those are in snappy nice condition because they have to be and even my slop clothes are, by habit, down-grades from business casual. I have almost no clothes that others would call "slop clothes." Everything I have I take good care of so there's no conversations about "My <blah> is in bad condition" or "I need <blah> at some point in my life." Those types of conversations are just completely missing on my end. Or even getting her flowers just because. My roof doesn't leak (though my basement does but in my area, that's extremely common) and I have no horror stories about what's materially wrong in my life... just a few projects to improve the house and property that I've been working on. When it comes down to it, I want for nothing and have about everything I need. I don't oggle at a store window or drool over things in stores because I either already have it or know where to get it dirt cheap or have recognized that I don't want or need it. I work in a corporate headquarters office so I need to maintain a business and clean appearance all the time despite being in a field where I could technically get away with looking like a slob if I really wanted to. If I get asked to share stories about things I've done... well... I've done a lot. Been to a lot of places. I have no end of stories there. I own my house, I have solar, I have a muscle car for every day driving and a very distinct truck for fun driving (and hauling but whatever). The house has been described to me by others as a "prestige house." It's very nice, very large, and each room is just small enough to be cozy without feeling cramped in any way. It also happens to be the second most expensive house in the entire neighborhood and I've recently had an extensive security system installed. I am, quite literally, one of the most eligible bachelors in the city I live in. I can't stand lying about who I am and what I've got to deal with... So what do? Is there a dating site for people in my situation? The lower reaches of upper class looking for someone who's not a gold digger or after my property? Or should I just consider online dating and never mention what I do for a living (dead giveaway that I have money) or how much I make?

26 comments

[–] oddjob 2 points (+2|-0)

That difficulty is that their minds almost always snap to "This dude has money" and so, in the end, you get treated nicely but that eventually wears off because they're not interested in you but only what you can do for them

You are making an assumption about other people. You can't go into any relationship without taking a risk.

[–] ScorpioGlitch [OP] 0 points (+1|-1)

I'm making an observation about nearly every woman I've had more than a cursory interaction with in the last 5 years. You can almost see the mind switch tracks, the face changes, the reactions are different. It just kinda makes me sick or depressed, situation depending.

[–] oddjob 1 points (+1|-0)

Then maybe the women you are finding are from a similar group or share a common trait that follows this money-grubbing. You could try finding women who work in a field that pays little but is still a desirable field for the employees. Education and animal services often don't pay much but many women work in those fields because they are passionate about the job. They already know how to live on very little so they would be less likely to tolerate someone they don't like just for the money.

[–] ScorpioGlitch [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Someone here got me to realize that the problem I'm having are from local women, not women who are from outside the state. Thinking this might be a local culture issue because every woman I've had a relationship with that wasn't this way was not a local.

But I'll pay more attention to their fields in the future. You might be on to something there.