You can be the life of the party AND be classy! | Phuks!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: I now have a Patreon page!

posted by LockeProposal - sticky

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South Carolinian militia storm and capture Castle Pinckney, near Forts Sumter and Moultrie. They aren’t quite prepared for the shit-talking daughter of one of the captured sergeants.

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Shots fired!

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The 506th was too fit for training!

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RESPECT.

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The story of how Sir Stewart Gore-Browne proposed to his wife, Lorna. It was adorable.

posted by LockeProposal

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First we'll distract them and have them bring reinforcements to the wrong place, and when they pursue, we'll lay an ambush for them!

posted by TheRedArmy

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18th century London’s weird sex & cross-dressing clubs.

posted by LockeProposal

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Secessionist speakers in Congress had groupies!

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Captain Morgan’s pirates are too drunk to get fabulously wealthy!

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Alexander the Great’s mother, Olympias, daresssssss you to try ssssssssssssssleeping with her.

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Newton Knight double-loaded his shotguns with everything he could find – including rifle bullets!

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While trying to return from the Third Crusade, Richard the Lionheart went on a hilarious adventure, complete with silly shenanigans!

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Andrew Jackson rescues his friend with… a tobacco box?

posted by LockeProposal

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We’re totally not going to attack your fort, or anything. We just want to look at it, take a quick tour, and maybe publish the blueprint in the local paper along with detailed instructions on how best to attack your fort. It’s no big deal, really.

posted by LockeProposal

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The Bolsheviks lose a vote, Lenin refuses to speak so that the whole thing wouldn’t count.

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Al Gore’s perfect butter story.

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Seventeenth-Century pirates would be compensated for the loss of a limb, and even a peg leg!

posted by LockeProposal

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Hao Zhao swears by his duty as a soldier, then proceeds to win against an overwhelming force in his fort at Chencang.

posted by TheRedArmy

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The first naval battle between Ironclads began with a one-liner worthy of a cheesy Hollywood film!

posted by LockeProposal

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A group of Native Americans seize the island of Alcatraz and release a manifesto that is DRIPPING with irony.

posted by LockeProposal

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When Richard the Lionheart returned to London, officials of the monarch who had ransomed the king were upset to see that the English had more money than they had let on, and weren’t in desperate poverty!

posted by LockeProposal

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Well, okay then. [WWII]

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Lucius Quintius, what the hell?

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The Spanish President of Panama sends a bit of fan mail to the pirate admiral Captain Morgan. The correspondence quickly turns into FIGHT ME 1v1.

posted by LockeProposal

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SHOTS FIRED.

posted by LockeProposal

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