You can be the life of the party AND be classy! | Phuks!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: I now have a Patreon page!

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The future Mrs. Eisenhower was a spectacular dancer. Too spectacular, in fact.

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Union soldier is super annoyed when his head is smacked by a reduced-speed bullet, tries to get revenge with a decidedly high-speed bullet.

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“Excellent work, Corporal. We laid some wood over the bridge pilings, by the way, so you didn’t need to get naked and all that. Nice dive, though.”

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George Washington’s aides had to apologize for him using swear words!

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“You forged my signature!” // “Well, yeah, but you told me I could.” // “I literally did not do that.”

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Truman tried to enlist in the Army… in 1940.

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Cato the Elder’s list of regrets.

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Dom Pedro II of Brazil loves the telephone!

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Black face and money: oldest trick in the book!

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I don’t think they got the joke.

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Despite the tragedies of the 1936 Connecticut River Floods, there were a few silly happenings here and there!

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Despite the horrors of the Jamaican earthquake of 1692, there were some instances that were almost comical.

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The Romans realize they suck at naval warfare, so they improvise!

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The Gauls don’t know how to alliance properly, and literally defeat themselves before the Romans even get there!

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An adorable story about a Nazi boat, a Nazi U-Boat, and a Nazi plane.

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Roman legionary’s clever quip about becoming an equestrian.

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German soldier accidentally invades an American Battalion’s Command Post… to use the bathroom. [WWII]

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Two young Spanish women kill each other in a topless duel.

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An outnumbered Newton Knight scares away an ambush by calling out orders to a fake army!

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You did NOT want to be one of Confederate General Forrest’s horses.

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A different wig for every day keeps the Celtic assassins away.

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Lincoln’s comical story of a man and his hat.

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Philopoemen retires, later freaks out that he’s no longer in command when the most hilariously conquerable army goes to war, outwardly envies the Romans that get to conquer such a stupid foe.

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Just say no – it’s a trap!

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Union soldier sends home a lovely memento of the time he was nearly shot in the head.

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