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3
I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
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madazzahatter
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2
In a crowded city at a bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt, with matching tight leather boots and jacket...
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madazzahatter
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2
Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other…
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madazzahatter
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1
Low resting heart rate in women is associated with criminal offending, unintentional injuries
(phys.org)
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by
xyzzy
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1
We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the…
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madazzahatter
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1
This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
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madazzahatter
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2
I scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked…
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madazzahatter
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2
My wife is turning 32 soon...
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madazzahatter
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1
My first time buying condoms, at age 16, I went to the pharmacy. The hot cashier at the counter could see that I was new at it and gave me the pack asking if I knew how to use one. I said, "No, it's my first time."
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madazzahatter
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1
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...
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madazzahatter
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1
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
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madazzahatter
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4
Maryland bridge collapse: Francis Scott Key bridge hit by container ship
(www.nbcnews.com)
posted
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pembo210
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News
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3
At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It’s bec..."
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madazzahatter
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2
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman…
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madazzahatter
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2
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says...
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madazzahatter
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1
I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.
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madazzahatter
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1
My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary...
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madazzahatter
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3
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."
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madazzahatter
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2
When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied.
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madazzahatter
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2
A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…
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madazzahatter
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1
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day, when the daughter said, "My hands are freezing cold!" The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up."
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madazzahatter
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1
My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
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madazzahatter
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1
TIL that a school of piranhas can strip all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...
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madazzahatter
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1
I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."
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madazzahatter
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3
Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex. The first guy starts, “Y'all ain't got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis!"
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madazzahatter
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