[–] Mattvision 2 points (+2|-0)

I don't have my resume right now, but if you don't hire @Polsaker or @Valdus, I can give you my social security number, credit card numbers, all my passwords, my bitcoin and monero private keys, and silicone reconstructions of my face and fingerprints as collateral.

Then when I find where @HateCumbuckets hid my resume just give it back.

[–] jobes 1 points (+1|-0)

My Resume:

  • Have two older cats who loves me very much

  • It's snowing outside right now and it's April :(

  • I often wear fingerless gloves when using my computer cause my hands get cold

  • Currently drinking coffee

You are WAY overqualified for this position.

You're hired.

Edit: You're fired.

Edit edit: We really kinda need you back. I'll pay you double but you have have to stay in the closet.