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My new co worker seems to be a 1337 haxor

posted by PhunkyPlatypus on Whatever

So we go this new kid at work last week, like 19 and super dorky. I don't have much hope for him, due to his own incompetence and performance. But that's not what I'm here to share.

Today he mentioned that he had plans this weekend to recode a server for a friend of his. This struck me as interesting so I pressed him for some more detail. Now software and networking isn't my forte and so I was sort of struggling to make sense of what he was saying. Which was something along the lines of this.

He was reprogramming a servers security with the help of an AI that he found on the dark web and tweaked a bit for his uses. He claims the AI is called "White Hat" and is a hacking AI that finds exploits in the system.

Now... There's a whole lot to unpack there.... I never could get him to explain why he would need an AI to do this function. In which he then claims it can look over his code to find any errors. (Isn't that built in to compilers now a days?)

I decided to ask him what language he was programming the server in. I SHIT YOU NOT. This kid replied with "Dutch". (You ever hear something so dumb, that you start questioning your own sanity?) I asked him where he learned Dutch from and he sort of mumbled a non reply.

So I restated my question of which programming language he used, like C+, python or basic? This fuckin kid replied with "Yeah a basic one, like windows uses."

Knowing a proper AI requires a lot of computational power I decided to ask what sort of hardware he was using. And boy, did I sure get some head scratching answers. Like a RX AMD CPU from 2012. And a gpu..... Maybe? But woah boy does this kid got us all beat with his 2.5 terrabytes of RAM. Poor little me just got 16 gigs. He was also very happy with he 2tb HDD. I asked if it was an SDD and he adamantly denied that, like I insulted him. He also kept bragging about installing an SD reader into his machine like it was some monumental accomplishment. SMH

At this point my bullshit meter had ran out it's batteries and I could scarcely keep myself from laughing in his face.

I finally revealed that I have dabbled in coding and built my own computer, so I kind of know a few things.

The blood ran out of his fucking face like he saw his parents banging on his birthday cake.

Update from two days later, kid is fired.

So we go this new kid at work last week, like 19 and super dorky. I don't have much hope for him, due to his own incompetence and performance. But that's not what I'm here to share. Today he mentioned that he had plans this weekend to recode a server for a friend of his. This struck me as interesting so I pressed him for some more detail. Now software and networking isn't my forte and so I was sort of struggling to make sense of what he was saying. Which was something along the lines of this. He was reprogramming a servers security with the help of an AI that he found on the dark web and tweaked a bit for his uses. He claims the AI is called "White Hat" and is a hacking AI that finds exploits in the system. Now... There's a whole lot to unpack there.... I never could get him to explain why he would need an AI to do this function. In which he then claims it can look over his code to find any errors. (Isn't that built in to compilers now a days?) I decided to ask him what language he was programming the server in. I SHIT YOU NOT. This kid replied with "Dutch". (You ever hear something so dumb, that you start questioning your own sanity?) I asked him where he learned Dutch from and he sort of mumbled a non reply. So I restated my question of which programming language he used, like C+, python or basic? This fuckin kid replied with "Yeah a basic one, like windows uses." Knowing a proper AI requires a lot of computational power I decided to ask what sort of hardware he was using. And boy, did I sure get some head scratching answers. Like a RX AMD CPU from 2012. And a gpu..... Maybe? But woah boy does this kid got us all beat with his 2.5 terrabytes of RAM. Poor little me just got 16 gigs. He was also very happy with he 2tb HDD. I asked if it was an SDD and he adamantly denied that, like I insulted him. He also kept bragging about installing an SD reader into his machine like it was some monumental accomplishment. SMH At this point my bullshit meter had ran out it's batteries and I could scarcely keep myself from laughing in his face. I finally revealed that I have dabbled in coding and built my own computer, so I kind of know a few things. The blood ran out of his fucking face like he saw his parents banging on his birthday cake. Update from two days later, kid is fired.

17 comments

[–] Sissypuff 4 points (+4|-0)

Ooooo I hate the Dutch so much. Planting tulips everywhere, sawing doors in half, and those god damned wooden shoes!!!!

[–] [Deleted] 3 points (+3|-0)

You need to see this!!!

http://studdblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/1973-dutchthreat-or-menace.html

(It's a reprint of a National Lampoon article)

[–] [Deleted] 0 points (+0|-0)

Please crosspost this to /s/swampgermany

[–] Sissypuff 0 points (+0|-0)

Yeah every time I hear mention of the Dutch I recall the article and that joke, god those guys were funny back then.

The Nat Lamp had so much great stuff. And not a thing was sacred, including clearly the Dutch those bastards. This was when you could make fun of someone or something and not have your life ruined by a bunch of thin skinned morals police.

There was a documentary done a few years back Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead that's worth a look if you haven't seen it. There are torrents.

[–] [Deleted] 0 points (+0|-0)

My husband has the full run, including all the special issues. He lets me read too, when he gets one out.

Those guys are awesomely funny! I love how they cast their slings and arrows at everyone and everything. That's what we need today: A satirical magazine that would beat up liberals and conservatives and all of the thousands of other stupid sacred cows. There's so much awesome material waiting to be exploited.