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So we go this new kid at work last week, like 19 and super dorky. I don't have much hope for him, due to his own incompetence and performance. But that's not what I'm here to share.

Today he mentioned that he had plans this weekend to recode a server for a friend of his. This struck me as interesting so I pressed him for some more detail. Now software and networking isn't my forte and so I was sort of struggling to make sense of what he was saying. Which was something along the lines of this.

He was reprogramming a servers security with the help of an AI that he found on the dark web and tweaked a bit for his uses. He claims the AI is called "White Hat" and is a hacking AI that finds exploits in the system.

Now... There's a whole lot to unpack there.... I never could get him to explain why he would need an AI to do this function. In which he then claims it can look over his code to find any errors. (Isn't that built in to compilers now a days?)

I decided to ask him what language he was programming the server in. I SHIT YOU NOT. This kid replied with "Dutch". (You ever hear something so dumb, that you start questioning your own sanity?) I asked him where he learned Dutch from and he sort of mumbled a non reply.

So I restated my question of which programming language he used, like C+, python or basic? This fuckin kid replied with "Yeah a basic one, like windows uses."

Knowing a proper AI requires a lot of computational power I decided to ask what sort of hardware he was using. And boy, did I sure get some head scratching answers. Like a RX AMD CPU from 2012. And a gpu..... Maybe? But woah boy does this kid got us all beat with his 2.5 terrabytes of RAM. Poor little me just got 16 gigs. He was also very happy with he 2tb HDD. I asked if it was an SDD and he adamantly denied that, like I insulted him. He also kept bragging about installing an SD reader into his machine like it was some monumental accomplishment. SMH

At this point my bullshit meter had ran out it's batteries and I could scarcely keep myself from laughing in his face.

I finally revealed that I have dabbled in coding and built my own computer, so I kind of know a few things.

The blood ran out of his fucking face like he saw his parents banging on his birthday cake.

Update from two days later, kid is fired.

So we go this new kid at work last week, like 19 and super dorky. I don't have much hope for him, due to his own incompetence and performance. But that's not what I'm here to share. Today he mentioned that he had plans this weekend to recode a server for a friend of his. This struck me as interesting so I pressed him for some more detail. Now software and networking isn't my forte and so I was sort of struggling to make sense of what he was saying. Which was something along the lines of this. He was reprogramming a servers security with the help of an AI that he found on the dark web and tweaked a bit for his uses. He claims the AI is called "White Hat" and is a hacking AI that finds exploits in the system. Now... There's a whole lot to unpack there.... I never could get him to explain why he would need an AI to do this function. In which he then claims it can look over his code to find any errors. (Isn't that built in to compilers now a days?) I decided to ask him what language he was programming the server in. I SHIT YOU NOT. This kid replied with "Dutch". (You ever hear something so dumb, that you start questioning your own sanity?) I asked him where he learned Dutch from and he sort of mumbled a non reply. So I restated my question of which programming language he used, like C+, python or basic? This fuckin kid replied with "Yeah a basic one, like windows uses." Knowing a proper AI requires a lot of computational power I decided to ask what sort of hardware he was using. And boy, did I sure get some head scratching answers. Like a RX AMD CPU from 2012. And a gpu..... Maybe? But woah boy does this kid got us all beat with his 2.5 terrabytes of RAM. Poor little me just got 16 gigs. He was also very happy with he 2tb HDD. I asked if it was an SDD and he adamantly denied that, like I insulted him. He also kept bragging about installing an SD reader into his machine like it was some monumental accomplishment. SMH At this point my bullshit meter had ran out it's batteries and I could scarcely keep myself from laughing in his face. I finally revealed that I have dabbled in coding and built my own computer, so I kind of know a few things. The blood ran out of his fucking face like he saw his parents banging on his birthday cake. Update from two days later, kid is fired.

17 comments

[–] PMYA 7 points (+7|-0)

Not many people know this but Phuks is actually coded in Dutch.

[–] Sissypuff 4 points (+4|-0)

Ooooo I hate the Dutch so much. Planting tulips everywhere, sawing doors in half, and those god damned wooden shoes!!!!

[–] Annelise 3 points (+3|-0)

You need to see this!!!

http://studdblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/1973-dutchthreat-or-menace.html

(It's a reprint of a National Lampoon article)

[–] Sissypuff 0 points (+0|-0)

Yeah every time I hear mention of the Dutch I recall the article and that joke, god those guys were funny back then.

The Nat Lamp had so much great stuff. And not a thing was sacred, including clearly the Dutch those bastards. This was when you could make fun of someone or something and not have your life ruined by a bunch of thin skinned morals police.

There was a documentary done a few years back Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead that's worth a look if you haven't seen it. There are torrents.

[–] Chaoticneutral 0 points (+0|-0)

There’s a reason the word sabotage came from the word for those shoes.

[–] jobes 3 points (+3|-0)

In which he then claims it can look over his code to find any errors. (Isn't that built in to compilers now a days?)

To be fair, there are expensive software products like PVS-Studio that run static analysis on code to find potential errors, and it is very very useful. I've used that and similar products before and they do often find legitimate bugs in large and legacy code bases. Those don't use AI to find those errors though lol. It's just several different discrete sets of rules.

This is where I wasn't so sure. I think by AI he meant software, much like by 2.5 tb of memory, he meant storage.

I figured there was something along those lines that exists. But that does little to validate his claims of tech prowess.

[–] jobes 0 points (+0|-0)

Yeah if he's writing in Dutch then he would have no idea that things like static analysis exist. You need to be pretty deep in the coding rabbit hole to go down that path.

[–] E-werd 1 points (+1|-0)

like he saw his parents banging on his birthday cake.

Ever heard of cake farts? That's what this reminds me of.

[–] revmoo 1 points (+1|-0)

It's always a highlight of my week running in to fedora-wearing idiots who can click around on an exchange server and so they think they are gifted. So much arrogance on display, always. They don't know what they don't know.

Precisely. I know enough of the subject to realize how little I actually know.