I'm at my grandfather's funeral today, and literally half the people there were wearing something I thought was completely inappropriate. One dude was wearing a fucking batman T-shirt and fucking jeans. My cousin was in a full blown cowboy get up complete with jeans, flannel, cowboy hat and boots with a giant ass belt buckle. Keep in mind this kid was born and raised in northern Michigan. He hasn't rode a horse a day in his life.
Now I'm not expecting everyone to show up in a suit and tie but to me, jeans are absolutely unacceptable funeral attire.
That does sound very disrespectful. As far as I know, it's still expected for folks to show up 'presentable' for such an occasion. Not necessarily a full blown suit or whatever ... but geez, at least a pair of decent pants and a sport jacket for a guy and something equally as appropriate for a woman.
BTW, sorry for your loss.