UPDATE:
Hey guys, update here.
Couldn't get into the military for allergy reasons unfortunately, but I got a back pack packed with necessities and I am beginning my life as a homeless person. Thank you every for the advice, I'm sure I'll find my way one day. Alright, bye.
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I don't know how to start this so I will just wing it.
I was engaged to a girl, we were high school sweethearts and moved out on our own for a year after she graduated college. I worked 40 hours a week in a job that I didn't really like, but it paid the bills and I got to be on my own with my love. However, she a had job that was actually losing us money, she was in video production as a freelancer, she ended up owing thousands of dollars to the government which was taken from my tax return. That's when I started to feel weird about us and our situation. Anyway, we had to move back in with her mother because we couldn't afford to be on our own with her job.
We lived in her mother's living room for a year with her mom and her mother's super ass hole boyfriend. We managed to save like 17,000 dollars but my ex fiance was just afraid to move somewhere and find a job. We talked about it often and I tried really hard to light a fire under her ass, to no avail. I started to resent her, and our living situation. She then started hanging out with one of her guy friends from college which I didn't really care, had no reason to not trust her. Things got weird though when I had to work on valentine's day and she hung out with that friend, I found the love note he wrote her in the car we leased together. So, I packed my bags and moved to Florida to live with my brother, in a car that would later be my demise.
So I am in Florida. I have 7,000 dollars, and it's going away really fast between my car payment and my credit card payments. It was all gone in about four months, I could only find part time jobs that didn't even cover my car payments fully. I was sleeping on the top bunk of a bunk bed with my two nephews in the same room, needless to say I had no privacy. Then I met a girl who was pretty cool, she made me feel great and I loved her personality and we got a long really well. So, I fell in love with her and moved in with her. My car got repossessed, and my credit took a nose dive. So I just started riding my bike to work, it was in the city so it wasn't terrible, plus it was great exercise. So we're living together, things were pretty great for a while, then a hurricane hit and we were misplaced and I missed a bunch of work. We found a new place to live and I was able to get to work again. I got her an apprenticeship with my tattoo friend, because she wanted to be a tattoo artist. Then her father died. So, long story short, I found out about two months ago now that she and my tattoo friend have been fucking each other for a while. This really messed me up, I am a little better now, but it still hurts from time to time, living a lie for that long.
So after all that, I had to move back in with my brother again, which is where I am now. I found out my license was suspended from my car getting repossessed, I finally tracked down the right papers I need to get to fix that issue, they're in the mail right now, I have just enough money to get my license back, but I also might need my birth certificate which I don't have and can't really afford. So, at the moment, I have no car, no license, no job because I had to move in with my brother 30 miles from the job I had with no car, I am in the middle of absolutely no where and I can't get a job because I don't have my license and I can't get an ID because I don't have my birth certificate because I need to try and get my license un-suspended. I have my own room this time which is great, but I am trapped in the house, away from civilization, no joke, I am in bum fuck.
I don't know what to do. I've been having really awful thoughts about suicide lately, fortunately I have my friends to talk to, they help me feel better and come to terms about how awful suicide would really be. However, I still feel like dying all the time. I have no idea what to do. I feel so lost, and stuck, I'm trying not to lose hope but, I don't know what to do. I've been looking up places to be homeless, I read that key west has great weather for homeless people, but I don't have a way to get there.
Has anyone been through something like this? What do I do? I need advice. I'm scared and lonely, I've never given up before but I just don't know what to do. I'm so scared.
Thank you.
Wow, so this was a really long and difficult read. It sounds like you might be drunk or maybe just don't have a good typing standard. Either way, I read everything and that was a damn emotional rollercoaster.
You sound like you have had a really shitty couple of years. I understand the pain, and I know how crazy the world is. But from what you have described here there seems to be a lot missing from the story. You have uncannily attracted misfortune in such a way that causes me to question how you act in a day to day profile. What kind of person are you, actually?
You registered 4 months ago and yet have not posted a single thing. If you were going to just lurk this whole time, why did you make an account? You haven't even made an introduction yet. As far as anyone knows, this is your introduction post.
So tell us, why is it that you have had such a shitty life so far? Why have you made these decisions? Because in the end, you are a product of your own environment. I hold myself to the same value. I am what I have decided.
Let's examine your post for a second. You started off in high school dating the first girl that paid you attention. She went on to college and you didn't. Her decision to go to college was for a fruitless degree, and you decided to find work so you could support yourself and your newfound love. You worked hard, and she rode on squat free until she found a job. This job didn't pay well, and both of you eventually realized that her degree was bullshit and your lives weren't going anywhere.
So you lost money, and had to move into somebody else's house. Not only was it "somebody else's house", it was her parents house. This immediately emasculates you, and therefore destroys any semblance of a relationship you held with this girl. She no longer viewed you as the dominant care giver, and so she looked for that elsewhere.
You need to learn a few lessons about women, dude. If you don't give it to them, they will find it somewhere else. No matter what it is. And don't ever be a "yes-man". You stick up for yourself, don't lose your character just for the sake of love. I'm telling you, its not worth it. And if she is any respectable woman in her own sense, she will admire you for your bravery.
I've rambled a bit here, but PM me if you want to talk more in depth.
EDIT: somebody downvoted me? Care to explain why?