I remember.

I remember the last day I spent with my mother...it was the worst day, and the best day of my life for reasons that will become apparent. I had captian crunch that morning. I also lost a tooth because the cereal was so hard. My two brothers laughed and we made jokes about it. I had just had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch as I was watching Voltron. My older brother and I were playing in the living room. We got a little outta hand and I had pinned him down. I was tapping him in the forehead. He started screaming, and that was when my mother and step father came into the room. She said I was choking him. Step father pulled me off of him and threw me into the wall. I went into the sheetrock. I could feel the fractured ribs on my sides as I pulled myself to my feet. I remember the taste of gypsum from the wall. The dust was gritty in my mouth. The taste of pennies in on my tounge from the blood. I remember the emotions I had and the realization that this wasn't going to end until he killed me. I stared him in his eyes for the last time. He saw it as a challenge from a 5 year old boy that he as a 31 year old man wouldn't back down from. Immediately I was pulled over his lap and he had taken off his belt. I remember that I didn't fight, or resist. I wanted to die and I was ready as I knew there wasn't a way to stop the pain. The first hit was from the metal belt buckle. It was a prize from a rodeo months before. He would always wear it as he was so proud. The smell of his chewing tobacco was sweet in the air as the corner of the buckle connected with my spine. It was what could be described as blinding pain. The world got brighter after each strike that connected with me. I remember how the first 4 or 5 felt like fire. After that it didn't hurt anymore. I stopped fighting it and let death embrace me. Then the world began to shake. I got scared because every joint began to hurt.....bad. I didn't understand what was happening. I got scared and fought for life. I remember waking up in the hospital days later. Unable to walk, or talk. The neighbor found me outside near the fence in seziure. She heard my screams that I still do not remember to this day. I remember learning to walk again which took almost a year, I wasn't able to speak without slurring until I was a teenager. These are the stories of my childhood and those of many others.