You can be the life of the party AND be classy! | Phuks!

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ANNOUNCEMENT: I now have a Patreon page!

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The Spanish President of Panama sends a bit of fan mail to the pirate admiral Captain Morgan. The correspondence quickly turns into FIGHT ME 1v1.

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The American Captain Abner Doubleday is often credited with inventing baseball… even though he didn’t, and he never claimed he did.

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Dionysius II: always ready with a snappy comeback.

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AWWW.

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Dionysius II learns to see the silver lining!

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Good Guy Napoleon was very chummy with his troops.

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Disney, what the hell?

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You know what’s gross? Scottish nobles, apparently!

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Rich people problems.

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The Spanish try to pay a ransom with an IOU!

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Reporters get stranded on campaign because Robert Kennedy forgot to quote George Bernard Shaw!

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South Carolina’s Fort Moultrie was so hilariously vulnerable that it was regularly infiltrated by disoriented cows!

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King Louis VII gets a participation prize.

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British statesman shares the secret to a long life.

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Christopher Lee nearly dies during a Luftwaffe raid on an RAF base - and immediately afterwards stumbles into two disgruntled WW2 legends

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An elderly voter doesn’t know how to acronym.

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Teddy Roosevelt couldn’t even take a break from being a badass without being a total badass.

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Young Franz Schubert freaks out over elder Beethoven's mild criticism

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Good Guy Robert Anderson doesn’t want to embarrass his Mexican POWs.

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The real Romeo and Juliet?

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Boy, there sure is a lot of Orson Welles here tonight!

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Captain Morgan suffers a rare loss of nerves in a firefight, only snaps out of it when he realizes all his men are laughing at him.

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AGAIN?! You've gotta be KIDDING ME!

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Mrs. Coolidge knows what you did! SHAME. SHAME. SHAME.

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Phoenicians and Sicilian Greeks talk a big game (without actually talking!)

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