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19 comments

[–] jobes 3 points (+3|-0)

I fucked your mom, the penecilin shots have not stopped for years

[–] jobes 2 points (+2|-0)

ok real story, after my divorce I went to some dark places. I knew this one older hooker that I never slept with because she would wing it for me for free lays of local sluts. No joke, a hooker as a wingman is pretty cool, no shortage of gettin laid. We just got to be well, friends. I had pepople coming over when she was staying at my place for a few days and she told one friend once she was my girlfriend. I didn't mind her sleeping over but that was a bit much and shit, he expected me nd my new girlfriend that night. I was debating what was worse - showing up with a hooker gf or not showing up at all, which that would have been the smart idea...not showing up at all. Instead, we had a good time. She was quite classy, kept to the role of being a waifu and not a hooker, it was odd for me.

Maybe one of these days I'll share how I accidentally picked up a hooker.

[–] jobes 1 points (+1|-0)

Bro the day I took my neighbor to Dave and Busters was the day I got balls deep into batshit crazy cultures I had never dealt with before. I would come home from work, find her passed out in the hallway outside of our places and feel bad and carry her inside and put her on the couch. She'd start shouting after a few hours usually, while still passed out. My cat didn't like that much, but he liked her for some reason so he'd keep going to lay on her. She called 911 from my phone one time to tell the cops her friend had just raped her when all she did was pour out her drink because she was too drunk, so I had cops in my place asking me questions about 20 minutes after I got home from work and I had no idea what was going on. She asked if we could go to a specific bar one time, but turns out she supposedly had a boyfriend and she was showing me off to all of his friends at their work that she had a new guy and was giving them my address, to these literal bouncers at a titty bar that didn't even have a sign out front as it was a private invite only bar. That kept me awake for a month or so.

Oh and she's the one that turned out to be a hooker and blamed that all on her boyfriend pimping her out.

[–] unruly 1 points (+1|-0)

We carried a comatose woman out of the Thai jungle. She was medivaced back to Austria, I don't know if she lived

Friend of mine a few years back got a pair of neko mimis. They're these electronic cat ears that measure your brain activity and make the ears respond accordingly. So if you got excite about something, they would twitch a bit. If you were relaxed, they would droop down. The fun challenge is to get your mood to shift (for real, because you can't fake your brain waves). She popped them on my head, we had laughs and then told me to make them droop. This, of course, was a challenge for her because she has like no control over her mental state. And they drooped immediately. She was highly amused and seriously disappointed.

[–] Annelise 0 points (+0|-0)

I love those!

Been thinking about getting a pair of those to see how my brain works while I'm working (I get paid to sit at a desk and think). But they don't make them new and I don't wanna drop $100+ on a used pair.