After a night on the turps, I managed to squeeze my head under a small shrub in someone's backyard and woke up with two of the boys in blue standing over me.
Another night, I ended up right outside the front door of a supermarket around 9am with my head buried in a shrub again, my body sprawled out over the main path to the front doors and shoppers stepping round me and giving me very dirty looks.
Those shrubs must have looked like giant fluffy pillows.
2000
Went to Seattle the night before to attend a rave at naf studios. (Hopefully someone else remembers that place). Long day before and even longer night. Remembered kissing some girl quite a lot. Can't remember now if she was good looking or not, but I do remember glitter.
Wake up on the Seattle to Edmonton ferry without my car? Was in a seat on the deck outside, and was told by the crew that two males placed me there almost 20 min before I woke up and they got off the ferry.
Looked around the lower deck for my car and was nowhere to be found...hmmmm I had insurance so if it was sitting at the bottom of the sound so be it.
Get to base and call up my insurance company trying to explain the situation. They ask if I can remember where I parked it and tell me I had great people looking at for me if I can't remember the much anyways lol.
Come to find out it was likely I was bill Cosbyed (roofie).
2 days later I get a call telling me my car was impounded by Seattle PD (base notified me through command). It was parked at a meter that expired long ago lol.
Yeah good times back then.
I woke up around 5AM sitting up against the wall of some fast-food joint, soaking wet. To this day I don't know whether it was rain or dew or whether somebody saw me sitting there passed out and decided to take a piss on me. Didn't smell like it, but maybe they'd been drinking too. Why in hell I sat down against that wall in the first place I can't imagine.
Shrubs! Hahaha!
I do have one story of waking up in a place I don't remember sleeping at. Good friend of mine had thrown a going away party for himself and invited the entire school. Tons of cheap pisswater beer, everyone smoking, beerbongs, kegstands, girls. It was a blowout.
People started a bonfire and pulled a lot of benches over to sit around it, and one of these benches is where I found myself the next morning. I don't remember sleeping, and I don't remember ever going to sit next to the bonfire because it was too hot. Headache for hours when I came to.
I should've just found a nice shrub and curled up.
In the middle of a large field, in the trunk of a stolen car.
I was woken by a cop opening the trunk and shouting "Oh shit, we've got a body back here".
When I sat up, and hopped out of the trunk, the cop jumped, and stood in shock as I began to walk away. I made it a good distance before he pulled himself together and shouted at me to stop.
Long story short, they couldn't pin any crimes on me, so after interviewing me and getting only "My memory of the night ends with beer #12, and I wasn't even in this city at that time".
i do a good job of getting to wherever i need to be to pass out but the most confused i ever was waking up was when i woke up in my own bed. dont drink and drive.