After a night on the turps, I managed to squeeze my head under a small shrub in someone's backyard and woke up with two of the boys in blue standing over me.
Another night, I ended up right outside the front door of a supermarket around 9am with my head buried in a shrub again, my body sprawled out over the main path to the front doors and shoppers stepping round me and giving me very dirty looks.
Those shrubs must have looked like giant fluffy pillows.
In the middle of a large field, in the trunk of a stolen car.
I was woken by a cop opening the trunk and shouting "Oh shit, we've got a body back here".
When I sat up, and hopped out of the trunk, the cop jumped, and stood in shock as I began to walk away. I made it a good distance before he pulled himself together and shouted at me to stop.
Long story short, they couldn't pin any crimes on me, so after interviewing me and getting only "My memory of the night ends with beer #12, and I wasn't even in this city at that time".