I'm living in a hotel room with my two cats for the next 5 nights. AMA

anything not bolted down is complementary, right?

when you are going to leave, tape the latch on the door down. check out, hand over your key and take your possessions and kitties out to your waiting getaway truck. send your brother inside then to return to your room and take everything of value. when an employee comes to either check why the door wasn't latched or to clean the room, pull the ricky maneuver and say the customer ruined the shit so you have to replace it. if they aren't wearing a radio, ask them to help so it lends legitimacy to when you walk out the door with your new mattress, tv, and minifridge. otherwise act like an underpayed, miserable semen-soaked mattress moving guy and be pissy (and not spooked) if anyone tries to interact with you. get that shit out to the waiting truck and speed off to mexico with your valuable loot to live out your lives like kings.

[–] jobes [OP] 4 points (+4|-0)

Great plan, but I don't have a truck. Can you call Shitty and tell him to bring his flatbed over here?

[–] [Deleted] 4 points (+4|-0)

shitty is in jail because of what he did to those people who went to repo his trailer. just go to the scrapyard and find the smelliest guy in a truck, he's homeless so he'll be happy to let you use it for an afternoon for a little cash. of course afterwards, you'll want to burn down the truck and/or bum.

[–] jobes [OP] 4 points (+4|-0)

you'll want to burn down the truck

That'd be some good fuel for cooking the dirty burgers

[–] [Deleted] 3 points (+3|-0)

How did you get a hotel that will let you stay with your cats?

[–] jobes [OP] 5 points (+5|-0)

Edited

Surprisingly easy actually. I was planning on staying specifically at a hotel chain that I knew allowed pets (Extended Stay America), but then I saw they charged $25/night/pet ($250 total for 5 nights) so I looked around for something cheaper. Turns out that two nice close (<2 miles) hotels to me allowed pets. Tourist season in my city literally ended last week, so the base hotel rates went down significantly. The one I chose had a flat pet cleaning fee as long as combined pet weight was under 75lbs, and that was the cheapest I found when adding it all together.

Place is pretty nice too - I have a full fridge + freezer, 2 unit cooktop, dishwasher, microwave, dishes/glasses/silverware/pots/pans/potato peeler, knives, toaster and coffee maker.

[–] Boukert 5 points (+5|-0)

Will you be having intercourse with all those appliances?

[–] jobes [OP] 2 points (+2|-0)

Why do you think I paid the "pet" fee ;)

[–] [Deleted] 2 points (+2|-0)

that's nice for you

[+] [Deleted] 2 points (+2|-0)

[–] simone 2 points (+2|-0)

Edited

I've never been through the fumigating process. Do you take all your clothes? Is there a giant tent over your condo now? If you are renting are your landlords discounting your rent this week, what's the logistics of rent/hotel costs?

Saw in another comment you are staying in a Extended Stay. I have had to do the same for a few days, it's a nice hotel for situations like yours. The mini kitchen is really nice to have, basically a studio apartment. Eating out this week or going to cook in the mini kitchen?

[–] jobes [OP] 2 points (+2|-0)

1) the fumigant is sodium flouride (?), something that burns all of the oxygen and suffocates everything to death. They said it creates a vacuum basically and does not leave any sort of residue because of that. Doesn't gas them to death, so dishes, carpets and mattresses are fine. Some states use other chemicals that can take weeks to fully get rid of, so YMMV.

2) I'll go over there tonight because I'm supposed to get a package from USPS. It's a t-shirt, so hopefully they put it in the mailbox or on top of it if the place is fully tented. The tent will be huge because it's three separate buildings connected by walk ways, so they have to tent the entire structure.

3) I'm renting from the homeowner, but there has been nothing about covering this. Best we had was no rent increase this year because of this + exterior remodeling that will be happening this year. We're getting this place for a steal compared to worse places in our neighborhood going for $1000 more/month, so I'm not going to bitch about being out for a week.

4) I'm staying at a Residence Inn and not the Extended Stay because it's cheaper due to ESA's pet fee policy. Much nicer actually and the cats love it surprisingly. I meant to bring my rice cooker/steamer, but forgot it in all the commotion :( my parents are still out here staying near my brother, so I'll probably eat out with them most nights and cook a few lunches here.

[+] [Deleted] 1 points (+1|-0)

I'm living in a hotel room with my two cats for the next 5 nights. AMA

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/s/AMA