Bomber was also involved.
There have been kids milling around outside my house and neighbour's house for weeks now. Myself and my neighbour (60 year old woman) have asked them numerous times to move away from the houses and play on the field instead. Today they were messing about near her car, so I finally lost my shit and screamed at them to fuck off and chased them away.
15 mins later two blokes started braying on my front door, then opened it while I was in the kitchen making dinner, came in and started throwing punches. As far as I can tell, one of the kids has said that I grabbed hold of them. I covered up, threw a couple of punches back at them, Bomber was biting their legs.
They left after a couple of minutes and I'm fine, just a few scratches here and there. I'm not sure what I should do. If I call the police I could be the one in trouble, depending on what these kids tell them.
Don't call the police, you'll likely just get arrested.
At this point, the smartest move would be to hire a dark web hitman to kill them all and have their bodies disposed of discretely in a body of water deep enough that blood hounds wouldn't be able to track the scent. You'd be risking more if you didn't.
Also the old woman. She knows you'd have a motive.
Plot Twist: @PMYA was the old woman the entire time, has already killed the British bloke and the kids and is in Germany until she can re-establish her cover ID.
Whatever you do regarding the police, I'd be concerned about it becoming an ongoing problem. Maybe think about installing some video surveillance on your property? Having evidence at your disposal might be useful in future.
Sorry to hear about your shitty event, but am glad you're more-or-less ok.
Fucking dick-faced brats. I'm glad you're OK.
I have no idea what the police are like in Britain. How old are these kids? If they're not the age of majority, I would probably let it go and just lock your doors from now on (and if you know where to get a gun on the down-low, that wouldn't be terrible either, and yes, I know they're illegal there; shotguns are best for home defense). If they're 17-18, and depending on where you live, it might not be a terrible idea. I know around where I live, (conservative, religious, southern USA), I could tell the police that story and they would back me 100%. But that's also partly the culture here. I know even the "conservative" parts of Britain are probably moderate or even left-liberal by our standards, so I actually have no idea how they would react.
It's likely not worth it unless it escalates. Again, lock your doors, acquire a weapon of some kind for defense (big wooden stick will do too, although it might be a bad idea to use it if you're outnumbered), and next time just kill the kids the first time around so you don't have to deal with the fighting later on.
Cheers for Bomber, being useful for once.
I'm guessing they're 13-14. A gun just isn't an option I would even consider to be honest. I could get one if I wanted one, but this isn't a situation where a gun would be useful to me. In the event that they came back and I pointed a gun at them, I would go to prison. For a moment I thought about grabbing a knife out of the kitchen drawer, but again, bringing a weapon into the picture would not have been a smart move from my point of view. I could have used it legally in self defence, but if I was overpowered then it could have been a lot worse than it was.
I highly doubt there will be any more trouble, the kids will be told to stay away because the parents will be just as worried about police involvement as I am.
How did you do?
I've actually never been in a full-on fight, mostly because I'm a coward. Did you react decisively to the situation, or did you freeze up?
EDIT: Oh yeah, and are you OK? Do you need medical attention?