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Wanna scare the kids with a spooky Halloween outfit? How about prank your coworkers with something totally outrageous! Or maybe treat the wife to something real sexy in bed. Either way, poopie balls should have you covered. Here's how it works:

  1. Step one: First, you need to cut open your scrotum and remove the testicles. If you do not have a scrotum, you will have to commit deathicide and be reincarnated until you do. Be sure to keep the flaps attached

Step dos: Cut your balls off. Place them in a bottle of fruit punch gatorade. They will need the electrolytes to stay alive for the duration of your storage.

3: This is where you'll probably need a mirror and a bathtub. Slice a hole in your taint, carve your sphincter out while still keeping the intestines connected. Sew up or staple the old hole shut, but keep in mind that you will need to open it up again later.

IV: Re-route your asshole to the new one in your taint. You might find that your prostate is in the way. If this is the case, you may have to cut it out. Place it in a jar full of lukewarm tap water so you can put it back in when you're done.

%: This is where it's important you keep the ballsackflaps attached. If you're a fucking retard and you didn't read the instructions carefully enough and cut the whole sack off anyway, this is NOT GOOD, and you'll need to visit an emergency room pretty much immediately.

Assuming you're all good, you'll want to take a very hot shower so they're nice and flappy, rub them repeatedly with lotion, and stretch them over the new ass you created on your taint.

Six: After making sure everything's sewn tight and hooked up correctly, it's time to make poopie balls. Decide on what size and texture you'll want your poopie balls to be, and consider what foods you will need to eat to achieve this. If you want some rock solid logs hanging down there, you'll need to eat a strict diet of vegetables from @jobes' garden. If you want something squishy and bouncy, cut fruit and vegetables out of your diet. It's starbucks and taco bell for the rest of the week.

When you next move your bowels, all the shit should go directly in your sack. You won't even need to visit a restroom.

Remember that the most important rule here is to have fun, and use advanced surgery techniques to give bloodflow to the major arteries.

Wanna scare the kids with a spooky Halloween outfit? How about prank your coworkers with something totally outrageous! Or maybe treat the wife to something real sexy in bed. Either way, poopie balls should have you covered. Here's how it works: 1. Step one: First, you need to cut open your scrotum and remove the testicles. If you do not have a scrotum, you will have to commit deathicide and be reincarnated until you do. Be sure to keep the flaps attached Step dos: Cut your balls off. Place them in a bottle of fruit punch gatorade. They will need the electrolytes to stay alive for the duration of your storage. 3: This is where you'll probably need a mirror and a bathtub. Slice a hole in your taint, carve your sphincter out while still keeping the intestines connected. Sew up or staple the old hole shut, but keep in mind that you will need to open it up again later. IV: Re-route your asshole to the new one in your taint. You might find that your prostate is in the way. If this is the case, you may have to cut it out. Place it in a jar full of lukewarm tap water so you can put it back in when you're done. %: This is where it's important you keep the ballsackflaps attached. If you're a fucking retard and you didn't read the instructions carefully enough and cut the whole sack off anyway, this is NOT GOOD, and you'll need to visit an emergency room pretty much immediately. Assuming you're all good, you'll want to take a very hot shower so they're nice and flappy, rub them repeatedly with lotion, and stretch them over the new ass you created on your taint. Six: After making sure everything's sewn tight and hooked up correctly, it's time to make poopie balls. Decide on what size and texture you'll want your poopie balls to be, and consider what foods you will need to eat to achieve this. If you want some rock solid logs hanging down there, you'll need to eat a strict diet of vegetables from @jobes' garden. If you want something squishy and bouncy, cut fruit and vegetables out of your diet. It's starbucks and taco bell for the rest of the week. When you next move your bowels, all the shit should go directly in your sack. You won't even need to visit a restroom. Remember that the most important rule here is to have fun, and use advanced surgery techniques to give bloodflow to the major arteries.

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[–] jobes Sexiest human on Phuks 2 points (+2|-0)

starbucks and taco bell

NO TENDIES WHILE ON THE POOPIE BALLS DIET? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE