The independent state of SoapDoxBanHammer's recently elected supreme admin, the toast shaman, has been found dead, buttered, cut into two triangles, and partially eaten in his quarters last night. Investigators have ruled his death a suicide.
Just before his untimely death, he left a note saying that SDBH has lost its contract with the Mole God because I took too long making a new CSS, which was supposed to cause us suffering and repentance. Oops.
The Mole God will unleash his wrath upon our nation by the end of the week, following a number of plagues and catastrophes that destroy our civilization.
Just after the toast shaman's suicide, 70% of the SDBH royal navy was destroyed in a hurricane, and the admins are now preparing an invasion force to retake the sub.
This next week we will be in for the fight for our very existence as shitposters, and I am not sure we will make it out of this one alive.
More at 11
This sounds serious, Ima get my poo stick out