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8 comments

[–] Mattvision Tryin to make a change :/ 5 points (+5|-0)

............

You know... when I came home today, I was looking forward to being able to sink mindlessly into my shitposting and let all my eternal woes disappear for at least 24 hours.

I feel as though all the women in my life are mocking me. I'm unattractive and have no social skills, so not once in my life have I even fucking BOTHERED to approach one. And they know it. I can see it in their eyes most of the time, they don't see a man when they look at me, and they're right to do so. I'm forced to settle for wallowing as a beta fag for the rest of my life.

And everyone else, the closest thing I have to a friend is the night shift janitor. Every day when I come into the store to set up the registers, we'll cross paths when he comes by to collect the trash before his shift ends. He'll usually say something along the lines of "Hey, how you doin' man?". I just say "Good". I never ask him back, though. I feel like if I do he'll keep talking to me and I hate it. It stresses me out enough when I'm cleaning the restrooms and people come in to ask if they can use it and I have to tell them "just a few more minutes, really sorry". Which I'm not supposed to, I've gotten yelled at a few times for keeping people out of the restrooms, but my asshole managers can bite me. They're shit at their job anyway.

Every single facet of my life is degrading misery. Of course I'm not the only one; the world is filled with retail janitors with no social skills, just like me, and we all have ways to cope with it. Most will binge eat, or drink, or drown their suicidal thoughts with the canned laughter of some shitty CBS sitcom, but me, I come here, to this fucking internet chamber, and shitpost like there is nothing else I can, or need to, or ever even wanted to do in my entire God damned mother fucking shit eating life on this planet.

Can I explain why? Why is it that I find shitposting eases my nerves, calms me down, represses me, keeps me tied to the mundane and the routine, and all nice and happy and passive and safe for the world to encounter? I don't fucking know, I'm not a psychologist, don't ask me, you're fucking crazy for asking me.

But this, this FUCKING GOD DAMNED NEW LAYOUT, HAS KILLED ALL OF IT.

ALL OF IT

ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Without shitposting, I have nothing. All the shit of my day to day basis has to sit there, rotting in my brain like a steak sitting out on the freeway. I can't get rid of it anymore. It's there. It is an unchanging fact, that it's there.

And now it's all so fucking clear to me.

IT'S ALL BEEN A FUCKING DISTRACTION! IT'S ALL BEEN MEANT TO KEEP ME FROM FIGHTING BACK! WELL I'M NOT DOING IT ANYMORE!

FUCK THEM!

FUCK ALL OF THEM!

I'm gonna fucking do it. I can pass all the background checks, I've been training at the range for months, I'm ready on a moment's notice. I'm going to do what should have been done a long time ago.

I'm going to GET MY FUCKING REVENGE ON ALL THOSE FUCKING SHIT EATING NORMIES WHO'VE REJECTED ME, DEGRADED ME, HUMILIATED ME, AND MADE ME CLEAN THEIR FUCKING FAGGOT CUM OFF THE BATHROOM STALLS! THEY THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN ME JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE SEX, AND ARE MENTALLY STABLE, AND AREN'T PERMANANT RETAIL JANITORS!

WELL THEY'LL FUCKING SEE! THEY'LL ALL FUCKING SEE THAT I AM THE GOD THEY NEVER GOT TO WORSHIP, AND NEVER DESERVED TO WORSHIP BECAUSE THEIR ARROGANCE WAS NOT WORTH, MY FUCKING TIME.

IT'S THEIR FAULT! I WILL UNLEASH HELL UPON THEM FOR THEIR UNFORGIVABLE CRIMES AND LAUGH AS THEIR FAMILIES MOURN THE MOST RECENT TRAGEDY, WHERE THEIR PRECIOUS LITTLE SEAN, AND JACK, AND KELLY, THAT MOTHERFUCKING BITCH ASHLEY, AND FUCKING GOD DAMN TIM, WERE OH-SO-TRAGICALLY CUT SHORT.

They'll see... They'll all see... this is what I was meant to do in this world and when it's done I can finally be free.

If any of you happen to be in Seattle, don't go grocery shopping tomorrow.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CHANGE THE SITE

[–] smallpond 3 points (+3|-0)

I've never understood why homicidal maniacs don't aim further up the foodchain, rather than focusing on those almost as unimportant as they are. Consistent lack of ambition/imagination I guess.

[–] jobes Sexiest human on Phuks 1 points (+1|-0)

I'm so glad I stopped for gas and taco bell. This gives me inspiration to finish the next 60 minutes of my drive home.