Preparing:
When taking a shit, do you want to sit on a cold toilet seat full of GERMS, or do you want to have a nice warm feeling on your ass that's as comfortable as your luxury lounge suit? If you choose the latter, than I advise ripping 10 sheets of toilet paper, folding it in half, than laying it down on each side. Once all the sides are covered, you can than begin to lie your buttocks on it and enjoy a pleasurable, warm experience.
Shitting:
When shitting, do you want to have a big loud splosh with water that hits your balls, or a quiet entrance that makes no sound? In order to do this, you must get 6 sheets of toilet paper, fold them until you can only 2 sheets, then carefully lay it out so that it drops into the toilet water into the centre. You should than be able to take a nice shit without any splash entering your genitalia atmosphere, and landing there until you wipe it dry.
Wiping:
When wiping, people usually scrunch up toilet paper and do a quick wipe, not really getting into the parts where shit could still be there, therefore making you smell shitty. I advise that you get 10 sheets of toilet paper, fold it until you can see only 2 pieces, put your hand into a cup formation, than do a "scoop" on your ass. This is guaranteed to get the shit out of your ass, and if you really need to, feel free to get 5 new sheets of toilet paper, fold it into 1 piece, than wrap it around your primary finger, and shove it up your ass as much as you can. This is guaranteed to get all the shit that's not in your intestines off your body.
After Shitting
After taking a shit, people don't wash their hands. I advise that you wash your hands, but instead of the cold tap, put your hand under the hot tap until it gets so hot that you feel like you're in hell. This won't interrupt the toilet filling itself as it uses water from the cold pipe.
nah, he was just masturbating 20 times a day