Ranking of Crystals Based On Their Popularity As a Name For a Stripper

I once dated a Ms. Rutilated Quartz. Very loose and gave me antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea, but then 9 months later @PMYA was born and we couldn't be happier.

Obsidian only ranks so low because it's a glass and not a naturally forming crystal, no bitch wants to name herself after some cheap ass glass...

How is Jasper number 5? When I hear that as a name, it makes me think of an old black jazz musician, not a stripper