Conversely, why on earth did she marry someone that would be drawing lines around what he isn't taking responsibility for? Either accept her baggage, or stop dating her. You don't up the ante.
When you marry somebody, you are marrying:
- Their family
- Their past
- Their present
- Their future
Make sure you consider all of the ramifications of that. Do people not spend even one minute to consider this and the consequences? This is a package deal. You can't pick and choose which parts of them you want and don't want.
Does this dude not consider the fungability of money? If they're going to run separate finances and she uses her money to pay for the loans, she won't be able to afford to go on the vacation that you can easily afford. If you run finances combined, her and your money gets dumped into the same pot, and it's not like you're doing accounting to see which dollar went where. If you do, then you're back to running separate finances. See above for how that turns out.
Moral of the story, make sure you're marrying the right person. Nothing else will really save you if you're not. Things like prenups and communication can help, but don't lose sight of the bigger picture. Those are just bandaids that won't get you out of situations with really serious damage.
Well who knows how much of this story is missing or what she told him upfront (maybe she lied).
She states she "hasn't been working for years" and has "no idea how she will pay back these loans".
Um, get a job?
Hey if a woman wants to be a housemaker, I can't fault her for that. Probably should have thought about that before taking out some student loans, but mistakes happen. Better this than a kid from a prior relationship.
But questions like how that loan is going to get paid and what she's going to do with that alleged education is something that needed to be discussed in depth ahead of time. At minimum she bears that particular responsibility, even if we give her the maximum benefit of the doubt and assume she is perfect and blameless in everything else.
Love the entitlement of females.
Sounds like this guy found a real winner. Why even bother getting married? You're just their meal ticket.