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17 comments

[–] jobes 3 points (+3|-0)

My brother just left his fiancé because of pretty much this. She refused to tell him how much debt she was in - both with student debt and credit card debt, so he had no idea what he was getting into. She was making him pay 100% of the rent and bills, even though she works full time. I'm glad he came to his senses and realized she was financially taking advantage of him.

[–] CDanger 2 points (+2|-0) Edited

Close call. The risk and damage done increases probably 100x if he had let that go ahead just a bit and gotten the government involved in their relationship. That's unfortunately easy to happen when your dick is doing the thinking for you and you have a bunch of well-meaning traditional boomers giving you 19th century advice. Being elders, they really should know better having lots of "life experience" but you can forgive them because most people are just phuking dumb.

This is why boomer advice about "go get married and have kids" is so dangerous to naive, young, horny kids. It really depends on the situation. If you get a good partner, it will be a huge force multiplier, and you'll do things you never could have alone. If you get a bad partner, holy shit are you in trouble. The damage could be comparable to spending a year or two in jail.

The correct advice should be to focus on yourself, your skills, and building useful things. You'll have something of value to bring to the relationship. When you have value, similarly valuable partners who have their shit together will want to be with you. None of this "just be you" or "follow your passion" bullshit advice either. No, challenge yourself to improve and build yourself up. The rest will (mostly) take care of itself. It doesn't have to be specific either: you might learn about woodworking, accounting, sewing, study physics, welding, start a business, hell even cliche "useless" things like philosophy and literature, etc. Build a variety of skills and invest in yourself. Just don't be a worthless gaming basement dweller (for the guys) or e-thot (for those who identify as female lol). This advice works for both men and women.

I don't know man, life is so simple and yet probably 60% of people seem to mess it up so much.