I was slightly disappointed to discover that meditation is like working out at the gym, and becoming nicer is like becoming really good at baseball. It helps, but it's not sufficient.
Once I gained the power to guide myself a little better, I still had to have someplace to go, and I still had to keep wanting to get there.
There's also this big problem that comes from working so hard to push the bad things away; it means, ironically, that I'm always focused on bad things, and always pushing. That's incompatible with living the happy life I want. You can't have your cake and seek it, too.
I think the way to do it is to displace bad with good, rather than pushing the bad away. I find that every minute spent experiencing good gets me closer to where I want to go, and it encourages and motivates me more. A virtuous cycle.
My main effort goes towards just allowing myself that wholesome sort of pleasure that comes from being nice. I indulge it, and I enjoy being that guy. The more I like it, the easier it gets push away all the other things, and to see that they were not really so important as they seemed.
This is the sort of stuff you come up with when you smoke a lot a weed.
I agree with your findings. I think it affects different people in different ways, and what a person is try to get from it is critical.
I started meditation a long time ago in an effort to find order and structure in a chaotic mind.
At first it didn't really work, until I changed my focus to just empty my mind. Eventually it worked. It did help me learn to sort through and control my thinking better. Now I mostly use meditation for 'contemplation' (Deep thinking while stoned).
If life gets chaotic or emotional I still use it to slow my thinking, but it's mostly about relaxation now.
I drawn to the idea of a sensory deprivation tank. I've hear talking about his, Joe Rogan and I want to try meditating in one.
I've only been able to do it at all for maybe the last year or two. Before that, it was just pointless and annoying, but then somehow it just clicked.
Everybody finds something different there. I thought this was an especially good description of the "working out" metaphor:
https://np.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/85u18y/some_notes_and_encouragement_on_meditation_from/
Tldr: Can it? Maybe. Will it? Probably not.
The final nail in the coffin: I meditate.
The cure for Assholism lies elsewhere.