It was another day at the local grocer. My pantry was empty and I had come to replenish my wares. While perusing through the produce section with heightened zeal, the corner of my eye caught the most glorious vegetable I had ever seen. Great, bountiful green stalks rose on high. A series of lamps with automatic misters adorned their lovely crowns, periodically washing them anew. Not a single blemish to be found. Broccoli. It was love at first bite. So fresh was its crunch, so nourishing was its process. How had I ever lived before? I stood there mesmerized in the middle of the aisle, mouth agape and fists clasped firmly around a healthy stem. The misters activated and sprinkled their cool dew on my face. I had reached nirvana. To all you who deny broccoli its true place, I say damn you! You cannot take away my *love*!