Battle takes place on a beach on a small tropical island.
They have large coolers of condiments but have to catch their fish or crabs in the ocean.
The cookoff is judged by Bobby Flay and Donald Trump.
No lethal force or cheating is allowed.
Who would win and why?
Obviously @smallpond and me. We wouldn't even have to fish for the crabs because xe has a fresh supply living in xis pants.