Every week my job becomes a little bit more unbearable

[–] E-werd 2 points (+2|-0)

I suspect that next week I will have to start doing prostate exams to every employee before they can enter the building.

Just remember that the best way to give a prostate exam is with your hands on both shoulders.

[–] x0x7 1 points (+1|-0)

Edited

At least you're working. I'm not, because of chinagay-19. If we can demonstrate that work places can be made safe they can stay open. Be thankful for that because our government's weaponized retardation knows no bounds.

In fact if you do a good job, my state might see that's it's possible and I might have work again. I would thank you greatly for it.

[–] OeeThaGreat [OP] 0 points (+0|-0)

I feel very grateful that I my tyrannical government has allowed me to work through this "emergency." But I am afraid they are going to use and abuse their powers well after this has ended.

As for my hard work, half of my staff is gone and it is basically me and one other guy propping up the rest of the business and my work load is becoming untenable. If the other guy decides to leave, which he is thinking of doing, I'm pretty sure we will shut down.

I really hope you are allowed to go back to work right away.

[–] OeeThaGreat [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Funny story: All of our suppliers are out of touch less thermometers. We won't have one for at least 3 weeks. What the fuck is the point then?

[–] xyzzy 3 points (+3|-0)

The pandemic won't be over in three weeks and many infected will still spread the virus.

[–] OeeThaGreat [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

My State Order ends in less than 2 weeks, unless they decide to extend it.

[–] PhunkyPlatypus 1 points (+1|-0)

Edited

The touchless thermometer that we're using at my job isn't actually accurate, It's been reporting about 2 degrees lower on average.

[–] OeeThaGreat [OP] 2 points (+2|-0)

That's what I had always been taught through my various training programs. I think this kind of stuff is all just to make people look like they are doing some thing to prevent the spread.

[–] PhunkyPlatypus 1 points (+1|-0)

There was a rumor that someone contacted OSHA that were noncompliant with the guidelines and they're putting an effort to appear like they are.

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[–] ScorpioGlitch 1 points (+1|-0)

Oh cool, you guys are giving prostate exams now. Are you hiring?

[–] OeeThaGreat [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Nah dude, we actually stopped hiring people to reduce contact.

[–] ScorpioGlitch 1 points (+1|-0)

Robot prostate exams. It's the future, I'm tellin' ya.

[–] OeeThaGreat [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

They can be a little cold and rough. I prefer the human touch.

[–] Butler_crosley 1 points (+1|-0)

We have one jobsite that is just asking if we've been to a quarantined area while another location of the same company is actually checking people's temperatures at their guard shack. Then we have jobsites that have asked we stay away while others aren't bothering us at all. I'm just happy to still be working (thanks OSHA for classifying landscapers as agricultural workers).

[–] Justintoxicated 0 points (+0|-0)

Starting today, I have to check everyone's temperature and ask them a slew of questions

Question 1: Orally or Rectally?

I suspect that next week I will have to start doing prostate exams

If they answered rectally it seems like this would be a natural progression.

Every week my job becomes a little bit more unbearable

16 comments

/s/Whatever