So I pulled a muscle or something last week in my lower back and it still hasn't quite healed. I've been in a bit of grumpy mood while hobbling around, and perhaps more than I realized.
My wonderful girlfriend tried to cheer me up with a blowjob before bed. That women has some damn skills, because when I came, my back spasmsed so hard I totally blew out my back and made it 10x worse.
All I'm trying to say is that it was a real awkward conversation with my boss this morning about why I couldn't come into work.
Muscle relaxants would have made your dick limp. You made the right choice, my friend.