We're hiring!

Are you lazy?

Incompetent?

Struggle with basic math?

Have poor hygiene?

Don't like taking instructions?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then you are ready to join our team!

Yes, that's right. We accept only the highest quality applicants. And if you find yourself saying, "gee I think I'm gonna call out on my second day". Then you are perfect to join our team.

I can't wait to bash my head into walls trying to train you.

You incompetent chucklefucks.

Update: the kid who inspired this post got fire about an hour in to his second shift today, much to my relief.

Are you lazy? Incompetent? Struggle with basic math? Have poor hygiene? Don't like taking instructions? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then you are ready to join our team! Yes, that's right. We accept only the highest quality applicants. And if you find yourself saying, "gee I think I'm gonna call out on my second day". Then you are perfect to join our team. I can't wait to bash my head into walls trying to train you. You incompetent chucklefucks. Update: the kid who inspired this post got fire about an hour in to his second shift today, much to my relief.

23 comments

[–] PhunkyPlatypus [OP] 2 points (+2|-0)

I'd prefer you start drinking after clocking in, but only if you share

[–] OeeThaGreat 2 points (+2|-0)

That's fine as long as you don't mind drinking my home brewed Mountain Dew Wine™.

[–] E-werd 1 points (+1|-0)

Tell me more, baby.

[–] OeeThaGreat 1 points (+1|-0)

My top shelf Mountain Dew Wine™ is a delicious combination of all the bad flavors of mountain dew and the mouth feel of rocket fuel. You may also notice the distinct after taste of vomit as your stomach tries evacuate its most recent occupants.

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We're hiring!

23 comments

/s/Whatever