Whatever you do, don't try putting it in the back door, that's an exit. Maybe try mixing it with some powdered milk and forcing it in through the face.
It's absorbed through the skin. Pour a half gallon or so on the kid and start rubbing, forcing the oil through the pores. Don't do anything that will get you on a registry later.
How exactly do you extract baby oil from a baby? I'm asking for a friend. No rush on that, I have a steady supply of..... I mean my friend has a steady supply of babies.
Ever hear of a "cat organ?" Like that but with a pan to collect the oil.
There's a place for people like you. No, not Hell, much worse.