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8 comments

[–] Sarcastaway 2 points (+2|-0)

The following is a legitimate life experience:

My god-given last name implies a certain degree of power. My family has no power. Like at all. My dad couldn't even convince the local association to allow waste bins within view of the commons.

Jump forward a few years: I graduated not with honors, but with a minor recognition in my community. After the ceremony for this "honor," I'm shaking hands. This old fucker comes up and says some shit I can't understand, and grabs my by hand in a full-blown thumb-before-the-pointer-knuckle, mansonic handshake. Color me confused. Old geezer looks confused. Then we part ways.

Please understand, this guy was a member of the community, and was well known to have had a stroke in the years before. To this day, I'm still not sure if he had any idea what he was saying or grabbing at, but he did it with enough conviction that all these year later, I'm sure of one thing:

Phuks needs a better god damn motherfucking secret handshake.