If you want to hear my neighbor's dog bark, you can stop by any time.

Appropriate name. I feel for you though because this almost drove me mad at at a place I lived for a year.

Is the beer cold?

don't talk about his wife like that.

If you're feeling dickish you could look into a hyper sonic device to persuade them to shut the fuck up.

Side effects may include whining, cowering and nose bleeds.

Just go feed the dog peanut butter with shitloads of warfarin