I have searched my house up and down and I cannot find it. I am beginning to wonder if it ever existed in the first place. I am pretty sure the universe is an illusion made purely to vex me in this instance.

I keep the Crown on my dresser or next to the bed, where it belongs when I can drink and cry myself to sleep while my wife sleeps next to me.

Now I'm feeling like a little drank, might get some Crown and Coke when I get home.

Get drunk again and you'll remember where you put it.