The only photo of myself ever posted to the internet

[–] InnocentBystander [OP] 4 points (+4|-0)

Edited

You clicked because you saw the nsfw tag. I know it. You can admit it. You were hoping to see my junk.

Sorry to disappoint. In truth though, there is one other image of me on the internet. An amateur porn video. But only one (large) portion of me is shown in that video. People did not share that video to look at me. They were more interested in my very cute costar. It wasn't me that uploaded that video. It was her.

This pic does embarrass me though. It makes my beard look smaller than it really is.

I swear it was cold in that room. My beard is epic normally. Just had a little stage fright.

[–] TheRedArmy 2 points (+2|-0)

I honestly had no idea what I was expecting to see. Maybe a slightly concealed face? I didn't even register the NSFW bit.

Pictures of me exist, because of Facebook back in the day, but I'm become much more concerned with my internet privacy since then, so I'm careful about giving out too much information or pictures now.

Zhang Fengyi as the warlord Cao Cao will have to do as a stand-in.

Also, yikes. :p

[–] TheRedArmy 3 points (+3|-0)

Nice beard. I can't grow it like that, so clean-shaven or possibly a short stubble look is about all I can pull off.

Oh yeah, I guess you had a tube in you. That sucks.

[–] InnocentBystander [OP] 2 points (+2|-0)

I still got it. Manual breathing is for chumps.

And my beard is actually bigger than it appears in the pic.

[–] PistolPete 1 points (+1|-0)

Short stubble is life for the beta bearded male. I know...

[–] Boukert 1 points (+1|-0)

sooo who exactly ripped you a new ashole?

[–] InnocentBystander [OP] 2 points (+2|-0)

Stupidity.
That has been the cause of all that is bad, and most of what is good in my life.

Smoking + being tall + being thin + being male = spontaneous pneumothorax

They used to call me iron lungs because of the bong rips I could take. I guess now I'm I'm going to be known as tissue lungs while eating special baked goods.

When they told me I had to quit smoking I said no problem. When they explained that means weed also I cried.

[–] PMYA 1 points (+1|-0)

Can you not vape?

[–] InnocentBystander [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Not sure. The doc said no because there is still heat. But he didn't seem to understand that only the cheap vapes do. Something like a volcano might be OK, but I will need to consult with a doctor that has more experience with weed.

[–] Boukert 1 points (+1|-0)

Not being able to smoke would seriously ruin my day to! Hang in there mate, wish you a speedy recovery and hope your doing well!

[–] pembo210 1 points (+1|-0)

I totally didn't click because of NSFW tag..

yeah

[–] InnocentBystander [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Sure I believe you

The only photo of myself ever posted to the internet

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/s/WTF