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3 comments

[–] Kannibal [OP] 1 points (+1|-0) Edited

When I grew up, manning up didn't mean not to feel emotions . . .

It meant not to let your emotions stop you from doing something about it

of course, in some places, it was a john wayne "toughen up" which is a bit different


https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/man_up

[–] InnocentBystander 0 points (+0|-0) Edited

in some places, it was a john wayne "toughen up" which is a bit different

Even in those cases, it wasn't about 'not feeling', it was about not allowing feelings to be in control. They also learned how to display and detect feelings in ways that are often misunderstood.

"You dirty cock-sucker" is oldschool-man speak for "I love you and greatly value our friendship".
"Get the fuck outa here!" = "Come in and feel welcome".
I guess I can see why there's confusion.

My father never once told me he loved me. But I never doubted it for a second, because he showed it. Every day.
'Men' learn that the most important things are said with actions, not words.

If he thinks that the only emotion a man is allowed to show is anger, that is a result of his abusive father.
Not a result of having a Father, or being a man.

He can see that he is not like others, but still pushes for others to be treated how he would have preferred?
The contradictory thinking should be clear.

"Toxic masculinity" exists, but more common is "healthy masculinity", something most of us strive for and take pride in.
Fuck anyone that tries to shame a person for being 'manly'.