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So I decided to watch Wonder Woman. I know there has been some reeing going on over it, but honestly I don't really give a fuck about all of that, I just wanted to see if it was decent or not.

At the moment, it has 92% on RT and 7.8 on IMDB. I'll be completely blunt. There is no fucking way that this film should have anything over a 7.

The one thing they got right in this film was the opening. As a beginning to an origin story, it was pretty good and faithful to the comics (as far as I know). The major problems begin creeping in around the 25-30 min mark when pretty boy from Star Trek appears flying a plane followed by half of the German army. There are three main issues I have with this, and I'll start with the smaller two first.

Spock's boyfriend explains to Wonder Woman that he is a spy who stole an important book detailing Germany's attempts to create chemical weapons from one of their bases, then flew away in a plane and crash landed near her island. In the scene where he appears on the island, there are a shit ton of German boats that appear moments after he arrives. How did half of the German navy manage to get there so quickly? It's a small annoyance, but an annoyance nonetheless. The other thing that pissed me off is how clunky the exposition is. It isn't just limited to that scene either, it happens all the way throughout the film. He just turns up and sets out the entire plot for you.

Now here is the big problem. The film is set in WW1, yet the Germans are portrayed as if they were Nazis in WW2. To me, having Nazis as the "bad guys" at this point is pretty lazy anyway, unless you do it really well like the first Captain America film. My question is this: If you're going to make the Germans your bad guys, why not just set the film in WW2 instead of having a series of scenes that portray them in a completely inaccurate way? I know this is a superhero film and there is a certain level of disbelief that you need to bury in order to enjoy it, but that doesn't give you carte blanche on historical inaccuracy. Its so bad I was actually laughing during a few of the scenes. The only two reasons for the film not being in WW2 that I can think of are:

  1. Captain America already did that.

  2. It is easier to highlight sexism in 1918 than it is in 1943 - something that shouldn't even be a valid point anyway. Reading reviews of this film, that is supposed to be one of the main selling points of the film, but if that is the case, I didn't really see much of that.

After hearing about the war, Wonder Woman wants to go to the front and fight. I need to point out that she believes the war has been created by Aries, and that is one of the reasons she wants to go. So she does, but not before they stop off in London to pick up some groupie characters that will offer nothing of any substance to the plot or film as a whole (one of these characters was Spud from Trainspotting, which was just fucking bizarre). Once they are in France, Wonder Woman jumps over one of the trenches and kills a bunch of Germans. This is probably the best action scene in the film.

Fast forward a bit and they are outside German HQ, which is a massive castle. Kirk sneaks in there to talk to the woman who is making the chemical weapons for Germany, and Wonder Woman stays behind. Which to me seems strange, because surely she should be able to clear out a castle pretty easily considering she ran across no man's land like it was nothing.

Anyway, it only gets more retarded from there. Erich Ludendorff starts sniffing this weird gas shit and it gives him superhuman powers. Wonder Woman kills him, then is pissed off because it turns out he isn't Aries. Some random guy they met in London over an hour ago in the film and never saw again since - that's Aries. It turns out that Aries did start the war, but he somehow needs Wonder Woman's help to rid the Earth of human's. He also tells her that she has the power to kill gods.

  1. Why does he need her help? He started WW1 and seems to be doing fairly well.

  2. Why the fuck would you tell her she can kill gods if you are a god she wants to kill?

I don't know what happened after this point because I stopped paying attention.

Do not see this film, it is less than mediocre in every aspect.

RT: 92%

PMYA: 64%
So I decided to watch Wonder Woman. I know there has been some reeing going on over it, but honestly I don't really give a fuck about all of that, I just wanted to see if it was decent or not. At the moment, it has 92% on RT and 7.8 on IMDB. I'll be completely blunt. There is no fucking way that this film should have anything over a 7. The one thing they got right in this film was the opening. As a beginning to an origin story, it was pretty good and faithful to the comics (as far as I know). The major problems begin creeping in around the 25-30 min mark when pretty boy from Star Trek appears flying a plane followed by half of the German army. There are three main issues I have with this, and I'll start with the smaller two first. Spock's boyfriend explains to Wonder Woman that he is a spy who stole an important book detailing Germany's attempts to create chemical weapons from one of their bases, then flew away in a plane and crash landed near her island. In the scene where he appears on the island, there are a shit ton of German boats that appear moments after he arrives. How did half of the German navy manage to get there so quickly? It's a small annoyance, but an annoyance nonetheless. The other thing that pissed me off is how clunky the exposition is. It isn't just limited to that scene either, it happens all the way throughout the film. He just turns up and sets out the entire plot for you. Now here is the big problem. The film is set in WW1, yet the Germans are portrayed as if they were Nazis in WW2. To me, having Nazis as the "bad guys" at this point is pretty lazy anyway, unless you do it really well like the first Captain America film. My question is this: If you're going to make the Germans your bad guys, why not just set the film in WW2 instead of having a series of scenes that portray them in a completely inaccurate way? I know this is a superhero film and there is a certain level of disbelief that you need to bury in order to enjoy it, but that doesn't give you carte blanche on historical inaccuracy. Its so bad I was actually laughing during a few of the scenes. The only two reasons for the film not being in WW2 that I can think of are: 1. Captain America already did that. 2. It is easier to highlight sexism in 1918 than it is in 1943 - something that shouldn't even be a valid point anyway. Reading reviews of this film, that is supposed to be one of the main selling points of the film, but if that is the case, I didn't really see much of that. After hearing about the war, Wonder Woman wants to go to the front and fight. I need to point out that she believes the war has been created by Aries, and that is one of the reasons she wants to go. So she does, but not before they stop off in London to pick up some groupie characters that will offer nothing of any substance to the plot or film as a whole (one of these characters was Spud from Trainspotting, which was just fucking bizarre). Once they are in France, Wonder Woman jumps over one of the trenches and kills a bunch of Germans. This is probably the best action scene in the film. Fast forward a bit and they are outside German HQ, which is a massive castle. Kirk sneaks in there to talk to the woman who is making the chemical weapons for Germany, and Wonder Woman stays behind. Which to me seems strange, because surely she should be able to clear out a castle pretty easily considering she ran across no man's land like it was nothing. Anyway, it only gets more retarded from there. Erich Ludendorff starts sniffing this weird gas shit and it gives him superhuman powers. Wonder Woman kills him, then is pissed off because it turns out he isn't Aries. Some random guy they met in London over an hour ago in the film and never saw again since - that's Aries. It turns out that Aries did start the war, but he somehow needs Wonder Woman's help to rid the Earth of human's. He also tells her that she has the power to kill gods. 1. Why does he need her help? He started WW1 and seems to be doing fairly well. 2. Why the fuck would you tell her she can kill gods if you are a god she wants to kill? I don't know what happened after this point because I stopped paying attention. Do not see this film, it is less than mediocre in every aspect. RT: 92% PMYA: 64%

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