it’s hard having children with my character flaws… I’m afraid of getting close to people and I don’t really enjoy people outside the family that much anymore. I’ve just been fucked over too many times (stolen from, cheated on, you name it, it’s happened, I’m about 6k short from what I should have). Fortunately I picked a good girl and she gave me children but I’m still weary of even her lol. just a bit. I’ve got this deep distrust in people.
My older daughter (1.5 years old this month) and I have gotten super duper close… She had a fever last night and had to give her a bath at 2:30 am to cool her down. I’m torn and changing because it's responsibility and a relationship and though that's hard for me… I love it. It literally changes your character just loving someone so much.
I guess I’m feeling that a lot atm… I’m much less of a dick than normal and I’m just happy. Content even… it’s the weirdest feeling changing without forcing yourself. It’s just happening.
Being a dad kicks ass
This makes me happy just reading it. I don't have kids, but I know I would love to have them at some point in life. I've heard a lot of older men describe to me what you are going through. I personally have not been through it, but I've come pretty damned close (I think) with some animals. I know the change you're talking about, and I congratulate you!
My dad specifically told me this change can really only come from having a daughter. Having a son is completely different, at least that is what he told me. I never really understood or liked how he spoke about this situation. I was jealous of an older sister, I guess.
Take care of your kids, man. It seems like you really enjoy it.